1:32am in 日記

My Steamdeck came in today so I spent the day playing games. I only really have a few hobbies, my main one is playing games.

When I moved to Japan, I left behind my desktop in a storage unit. She was already getting older, so, not worth selling. I had to get a unit for other familial things that I couldn’t lug with me in my suitcases so I decided she can live with them while I figure my stuff out.

I don’t think anyone in my family thought I could make it without my computer. I’d been glued to that thing since I was 13. First my laptop, then my various desktops as I aged. I was never without a computer, and in my free time, I was always at my desk doing or playing something.

Moving to Japan meant sacrificing some things. People sometimes suggest it’s like shedding your old skin.

I brought my laptop, well two. A MacBook and a Windows laptop.

Both worked for a little, when I found time I would occasionally play games at the uncomfortable share house desk on the Windows laptop. I couldn’t play long because the chair would begin to hurt my body. After about two of being able to still play games, the laptops network adapter decided to shit the bed.

It can handle about 20-30 minutes of “intense” internet connection before it kills itself. Yes, I’ve googled a million solutions. Opened up the laptop to look for myself, etc. I spent a lot of time attempting to get the laptop to work again but alas, I was without games.

The Macbook died even sooner than the Windows desktop. I’m not even sure what happened to that one. One day I was watching Dexter, the next the screen was black. The Mac would turn on, make sounds that indicated it was still alive and kicking, but no screen.

After some research I found that replacing the screen would be an expensive and time consuming task. Some shops quoting a similar price to just buying a new Mac of the same model…

I guess my luck with electronics is pretty terrible.

After about 6-7 months of sole mobile gaming (god, fucking kill me) my s/o decided he would help me purchase a Steamdeck for Christmas.

I am super grateful that he helped, and I’m sure I will use it daily and it won’t be a wasted purchase. My only qualm being he claimed he wanted to pay for it himself, the entire thing, because it was a gift. But I still ended up having to pay $200 out of pocket.

When I brought it up he told me he’s already given me so much gifted money that it should just be considered towards the $200.

I’ve never asked him for a dime. He makes more money than me ($40hr/40hrs) and because of his living situation, spends less than $1,000 a month on living expenses. He likes to gift me $40 here and there to buy myself coffee or a nice lunch because my job and life is more taxing than his.

I’m thankful that he is giving in that regard, and I never expect the $40 to come around when he sends it.

But, when he tells me the $40 in coffee and food money should be counted towards my Christmas gift I gag a little.

If I knew that he was sending me the $40’s to save for when he bought me a big gift so I could pay for part of it I would have told him to just keep the money.

Part of me wants to bite the hand that feeds me next time he wants to send me $40.

Even having those thoughts makes me ungrateful though so I digress, I guess.