12:54am in 日記

I cry so easily at the thought of my dad. Sometimes I wonder if my sister is similar to me or if she’s more numb to the feeling now.

When the idea of having to see someone you love in their final moments is ever brought up, I can feel the panic and anxiety wash over my body.

I can remember the way he looked in his hospital bed. His face almost completely unrecognizable beside his nose which was still swollen like the rest of him.

I can still feel the heaviness in his hand, how lifeless it felt despite his body still being alive. His mind had already left this earth hours before, splattered on the gazebo he spent most of his days enjoying.

It all hurts the same even years later.