"I wish I could fully understand internet feminism" part 2 in Procrastination Journal

Okay
I wrote something in May and the lie detector test determined that was a lie.
I have been catcalled and it’s really uncomfortable. I haven’t been catcalled 100x in 10 hours, only 3 times in my life.

In middle school me and some other girls met up at the library for a group project. This man comes up to us and says “I didn’t know foxes traveled in packs.”
Okay first of all that is such an old man thing to say. Second of all we were little girls! Gross!

2nd time when I was 22, I was walking to my Aunt’s work from my work. I was walking in the back of a big shopping center where cars pass through. A man pulled up and asked if I needed a ride, how old I was, and if I had a man. And I answered his questions and he eventually rode off.

3rd time was at a Tim Horton’s and the drive through guy told me how beautiful I was, how he would take me home to his mom, and asked where I lived and informed me that he also worked at some Subway.
This is the one I was at least more comfortable with. At least I was the one in the car, so there was no way he could try to run over me or do a snatch & grab. I had the power since I was in the heavy vehicle and had no qualms about injuring any arm that may try to reach out.

But the worst is that when I was complaining about it to my best friend she told me that if I don’t learn to take a compliment that I’ll never get a boyfriend.

And this doesn’t count as street catcalling but it’s still harassment: in high school I went to a camp and at the beginning of it we took Myers Briggs personality tests, where I got an INTJ: Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging. Our names were shown on the projector with our matching personality types, I was one of two INTJs. Apparently, some kid remembered that for TWO weeks, found out who Shelby was (because I didn’t go to any of the evening activities, I ate mostly by myself, I took showers right after dinner and did my summer reading, then pretended to sleep in the hot dorm room). At the end of the camp, we were taking a picture on risers, and some kid behind me puts his arms on my head, leans on me, and says, “Hey Shelby, you’re a thinking girl, right? I prefer feeling girls.” Yeah, that’s not okay. Because whatever this stranger might think of my personality, or whatever his preference in girls/doing to girls, I really don’t need to know, I certainly don’t care, and I really don’t to be forced to listen to your bull shit and have my neck compressed. Of course I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even turn around. This was 11 years ago, and I’m still wondering why I didn’t call him out or step on his feet or elbow him and yell “Hey don’t touch me!”

So, the point is, it doesn’t matter even if you’re unattractive and fat, it’s not a compliment, and you shouldn’t feel happy about it if you’re not.

I feel like men should go ahead and use their free speech to say whatever they want on the street. But the right to free speech doesn’t excuse them from being called gross assholes. Go ahead and say what you want, you’re just showing yourself to be a walking talking piece of disrespectful shit. The right to free speech isn’t the same as a right to a smile, or a thank you, or a “here have my panties.” Just like they can say what they want to say, women can feel anyway they want about it, and react or not react in whatever way they want. They don’t have to take the “compliment.” They shouldn’t have to worry about being embarrassed, or being called a bitch, or having their neck pushed down, or being run over, or thinking “I shouldn’t have been walking back there by myself anyway,” or have to police their thoughts to make sure they appeal to men.

My best friend comes the closest to being someone I love outside of my family but I still want to punch you for that!!!!!

Last updated November 02, 2014