there goes my good name in 2014

This is actually just a sidenote to the next entry. The other one was long enough. I didn’t think it really needed this attached to it:

I went over to Ck’s last night. [ha! you had to know this was leading here]

He’s moving. Like he needs to be out of his place by the end of today. He’s only moving back to his mom’s place for now, about an hour away, but it still feels pretty final. To the point where I drove all the way out there at 10pm just to hang out for a couple hours. I really didn’t want him to leave without being able to say “goodbye”, even if, I guess, the words were never actually said. =\

Sidenote: My mom is super not happy with that decision. I’d mentioned during lunch that I’d probably head out there at some point. She was already all weird about it. She said that I didn’t understand. I mean, I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about the fact that she’s doing that worried-Mom thing because there’s no cell reception and the roads are empty. Shoot, I’d probably be more worried if I were going into some big city with crazy traffic and drunk drivers out on the roads at night. But whatever.

She’s treating me like I’m 14. When I got up this morning, I went out and asked if she was really mad at me or only just a little bit. She said she was disappointed. hah. Every parent knows that that’s totally worse! But I’m trying not to let it get to me. She’s doing it to make me feel bad and I really don’t. I don’t regret my decision. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

When I was leaving last night I went to tell her I was heading out and to ask to borrow house keys. She freaked. Like the whole: “I can’t believe you’re going out there at this hour!” “Why didn’t you go earlier?” “How are you going to drive all the way out there to a BOY’S house!?!?” ugh. As if I were going to soil my reputation, or something. I’m not sure what she thinks we do? But I told her I was going anyway and if I wanted to have sex with him, I would have done it a long time ago. I don’t know when she started thinking that I’m some kind of whore tromping around town, but it really hurts that she doesn’t trust me. And I know she didn’t say it explicitly, but she was thinking it. It sucks being treated like I’m still a little kid with a horrible lack of judgement. I mean, I’ve lived completely on my own, I was away at college with all kinds of influences, and I was just hanging out at the bars at 1am in Seattle a couple weeks ago. You’d think I would have done whatever I was going to do by now. Too bad my mother raised me right; it’s such a shame really! =|

And I didn’t mean to go off on a rant, but she’s the one that doesn’t get it.
He’s the only friend I’ve made here since I moved back home [three years ago!] and he’s leaving. I just wanted to say bye. [And I can’t seem to figure out how to say this to her without tears coming to my eyes, not just because of him, but because I finally had someone to hang out with…]

See next entry for actual stuff, not just the rant [and now that it’s its own entry, I kinda feel the need to add to it, but I won’t. You get the point]

rose.