The "guy thing" in A New Chapter

The other day I was reading about how most men stop socializing a lot once they reach their 30s and it’s true. But this has made me think a bit more about the relationships and friendships that I have with others (outside of family.)

I know a lot of guys. I get invited to do stuff a lot. But, I just feel like most men are immature.
For example..

Nathan: Works at an attorneys office. Smokes weed, plays Pokemon Go, and goes to concerts most days. He is in his early 40s. Years ago he had a car accident and got a large settlement. He decided to just not work for a few years. When it got rough, he moved to his mom’s retirement community in the middle of no where. Now he is actually working at least.

And then there is someone like Robert, who I have known since college. I think the biggest issue that I run into is that men are just bad at communicating. This friendship of many years almost tanked because of this.

At least for me, I have just reached a stage that hanging out with most of these people is just a hassle. The one friend that I have that I truly enjoy meeting up with, moved to Rotterdam during 2021.

Then another friend from my last work place. He is a great guy and we have known each other for over 10 years. But good lord..this guy. He has the motivation of a celery stick and his organizational skills are lacking. The sad part is that this guy is actually really, really smart. He has a chemical engineering degree. I told him once “Hey man..constructive criticism: but I have known you for many years..you have been telling me about these amazing projects. Ranging from product ideas to costumes, etc. And since I have known you, you haven’t achieved a single one. What gives?”

He understood and agreed but couldn’t answer me.

A reality that seems to be a wider issue globally, is that most of these guys can’t find a partner or are unable to have one. It’s hard to hang out when you have a partner since it turns them into a third wheel.

I’m not the king of beauty here. But god damn..I rarely had problems finding a date back in the day. You just have to try a little and not be a dick. Did I feel frustration at times? yes..but it was usually just a few months. Overall, I had a lot of dates. It’s not a flex or anything either. I just don’t understand how I was able to do it and these guys can’t. They’re not awful and at least have jobs. But the conversation skills..god dammit

I guess I’m just being too critical. Sometimes when I speak to these guys I feel like I’m more like a parent. The reality is that I’m busy too. I have work, side hustles, business ideas, hobbies, etc. And that is without counting family life as a parent.

This is a rant. One of the last times I saw one of these friends, he complained that I don’t reach out enough. I reach out this morning and the conversation goes like this:

Me: Hey how is life treating you?

Him: Good you?

Me: Just working and dealing with the family. You know how the routine is. Trying to just float.

Him: Yep. true.

Master conversationalist right there. And I could keep the conversation going, but I don’t really feel the need to.

See You Later Space Cowboy.
(And yes, I’m going to use this every time I end an entry now.)