Twitter: It's No Surprise To Me I am My Own in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

I’ve enhanced security for this entry into my “Twitter Substitute” largely because… well… tonight I haven’t done what was in my best interest. And if I write about it; I don’t want random people passing judgment. Or worse.

That being said- I want to get straight to some “Here’s me, did you know” bits that may affect how other areas are read.

My wife and I are trying to watch our money. Not a huge shock, everyone is because the world economy still sucks. Liberal or conservative; every US citizen should be frelling pissed at our gorram government and the smegheads that run most retail establishments. And yes, that last sentence combined Farscape, Firefly, and Red Dwarf… did you not know I was in to Sci-Fi? My fury with stupid people in power furthering global poverty while claiming the economy is fine must wait for another day. I just wanted to mention that the wife and I are watching our money. Luckily, we have yet to hit the “Oh god, we’re so poor we can’t afford even the most miniscule luxury.” Namely, we still buy alcohol.

However, this week I decided (wrongly so) to combine those concepts. I bought the largest, cheapest whiskey I could find. “Certainly, this will be welcomed as it is still alcohol but I am saving money.” I was wrong. Nancy (my wife) REALLY detested the taste. not that I can blame her, honestly.

Enter into this scene the following information… I tend to run for 30 minutes a day on an elliptical to the program RANDOM. The program is designed to simulate random terrain like hills and valleys. The “distance” numbers always seemed off and stupid, so I never paid attention to them. Until today- when I looked up what they meant and realized- DUH… the numbers were in kilometers. Apparently, I’ve been running daily 5Ks or more. TODAY- I ran a full 9K!

Enter, again, into this scene the fact that our AC is still broken. Typically, in October in the Mid-West, this wouldn’t be an issue. Today- kind of a big deal as it was 80 degrees outside. Why do I add all these up? Excersice+Hot Day= lots of sweat and dehydration. Alcohol my wife detests= I need to finish it sooner rather than later. So… I’m feeling a wee bit over the limit right now.

Being over the limit PLUS being really warm makes me feel, as certain areas of the world may call it.... randy. SO- what do I do?

I share this knowing it may, in fact, be a bad idea. I’m sure that there are a number of reasons I’ve never been this open but… frankly, I wanted to change that right now.

(1) There is a story that I keep thinking about. My first time with my wife. The first time (yeah, even THAT) wasn’t fireworks and memorable passion. There was, however, a memorable moment that my wife (to this day) says endeared me to her and keeps me “adorable and super cute.” Since sex was “We’ll be married in the near future” we were not using a condom. Yes, even though she had been with 16 men previously. I knew she was on the pill, though. EVEN KNOWING THAT - right before I came, I stopped us both and said “Ugh, oh, Nancy… I’m…oooo… I’m about to, uh… mm… finish. Where should I do that?” Because I honestly didn’t know if it would upset her to finish in her or not, even though she was on the pill. YES, that means even immediately before orgasm I still put other people’s feelings and comfort ahead of my own. Anyway, she laughed, called me cute, and said inside. And I’m thinking about that right now for - possibly - obvious reasons.

The other thing I’m doing… my laptop is definitely playing audio files. Perhaps this requires some background as well (and in so doing, maybe I can answer some questions that have recently been asked of me). I love visuals. Obviously. I am a man and science tells us men are visually stimulated. And yes, an attractive face makes my heart flutter. Yes, a well formed dress showing awesome cleavage and legs gets me hard. AND yes… an awesome face with rocking hair (worn by preferably an Irish or Asian woman) on top of a hot body encased in a gorgeous dress that adequately displays cleavage and leg (while leaving something to the imagination) capped off by a high quality “Fuck Me Heel”.... all of that put together would 100% be an amazing visual stimulation.

But I don’t need it. Pornographic movies… pornographic pictures… yeah, I look at them and own them. But that isn’t what I need. Or at least… it isn’t enough. What’s more: if they are all “straight nudes” that isn’t even appealing. I need a bit of clothing… something. Pure naked just never feels… real? I guess? But I need more than that… or maybe, I need less than that. For you see… everything is context. I need a story. And not just some random “This is this and that is that” story.... I typically head to a place called CHYOO. It is called that because it is an Adult Story Choose Your Own Adventure website. I would hypothesize that needing a written story and a Choose Your Own Adventure one at that suggests something specific. If I were to hypothesize, I would guess that it means I need context, relationship, narrative, and I need to feel that I am in some way in control or that I, in some way, have power over what is going on.

But I am not going to hypothesize or guess. Because… there is still one more thing to mention. Yes… pictures are at the bottom of the “appeal” list… yes “stories are closer to the top… probably tied with movies… but what beats them all? What makes this heart, mind, and body move with the same purpose? Audio. It is as simple as that. For example, if a pornographic video does not have any audio, it is less than unappealing… it is… wrong. However the reverse? Audio without visual- that is the height of ecstasy. For instance, right now I am listening to a British woman read an erotic story and get herself off. The combination is more intoxicating than the alcohol in my system.

So… now that you have WAY more information than you would ever want about a virtual stranger you are likely never to meet… I suppose- that is why I am my own worst enemy. Because… all things considered… I still do this to myself. I still listen to wonderful stories that will never be me, listening to women climaxing (knowing how rare it is for me to enjoy that in person)… I know it is cruel to myself… more cruel than anything my wife could ever do… but.... something about it… it makes me glad that things of that nature exist, I suppose.

Last updated January 04, 2016