April 13- The Good Life in These Foolish Things

It’s the weekend. Enough about work stuff. While it provides me with the funds to live this life, I know that’s not what life is all about.

As part of my 75 Hard program, I started reading The Good Life book. It’s a fascinating study that is still in progress. It is the longest-running Harvard study that’s been going on since 1938. They have followed thousands of people and their families throughout their lives (kinda like these online diaries, huh?) to discover the keys to happiness.

I know what the bottom line is (of course, I will read the whole book because the very first few paragraphs actually made me cry): relationships.

I’m sure I’ll have much more to write about that in the coming days as I read.

I wanted to write down part of the conversation I had with my dad last night. You know we talk on the phone nearly every evening, right? Our nightly phone calls started five years ago after my carotid artery dissection because I was scared of having a stroke in the middle of the night and never waking up so I wanted us to touch base daily. It’s now turned into me checking on my parents…well, in honesty, I think it’s more checking on each other!

Anyway, I was talking with Dad about all of the bullshit from work and how I can’t believe that my career is ending up in such disarray. And then I said, “but I guess it’s on point because nothing in my life has turned out the way I thought it would.”

And that’s so freaking true.

I thought I’d have a wildly thriving career. There have been twists and turns and, while I’m not too pleased right now, I suppose there’s still time to turn many things around and to be able to retire at some point with grace and satisfaction. But the road has not been easy or simple at all.

I thought I’d be in a successful partnership. Now. I’ve been in many relationships, but my end goal was a thriving marriage and I’m just not there yet! And lately, it’s not something I have prioritized, but I think it might be time to reevaluate. Again.

I thought I’d have children. That would have been an outcome of the above paragraph. In reality, however, even though I thought I’d have kids, I’m pretty fine with the fact that I didn’t. I might be missing out on a mother-child relationship, but I think I can capture that in other ways. It’d be great if I could bond with my niece, but I just don’t feel it yet for various reasons.

I’m hoping as I read this book I might find some keys to unlocking some of the things that have been just out of my reach all of these years.

I think some of it has to do with risk aversion, but it’s not for lack of effort. I just want to see maybe where I could be doing some things better, ya know?

Always a work in progress.

Thank you, as always for listening.

xo,
GS