April 10 - On This Day in These Foolish Things

So, so much going on in my FB Memories (you know, when photos from the past pop up and all of that emotion comes flooding back) and even here in PB with the On This Day section.

Five years ago in early April, my left carotid artery ripped while I was in an Orange Theory class, running all-out on the treadmill like a freak at 4:30 in the morning. It caused stroke-like symptoms that I was too dazed to recognize and it took a few days for me to get to the hospital. Was I gonna die? Or at least have a stroke?

Four years ago in early April, the world was going through a terrifying pandemic, not knowing WTF was going on. We were at the beginning stages of figuring out the masking thing - what an N95 mask even was and were we all gonna die? Or at least were all of our parents and grandparents gonna die? And my company furloughed me, giving me a lot more free time to contemplate disaster.

Three years ago in early April, I was going through cancer treatment and chemotherapy. I’d just gotten through a major surgery where a huge chunk of my colon was removed, and I was navigating the waves of emotion that go along with being a cancer patient. Was I gonna die? Or at least how was I even going to get through twelve rounds of chemo?

Two years ago in early April, I was freshly laid off again. Sigh. I was tired. I’d just gotten all the way through cancer treatment (!!!), but ugghhh. I needed the energy to start over in my career. AGAIN! What was I gonna do?

Last year in early April, I had recently moved for my new job and was discovering how much I absolutely hated the new gig. In fact, I hated it sooooooo much that I found myself drinking and taking drugs to calm myself down before work every morning. I was beginning to fear that I would make myself sick again - and if I continued down that path, I knew that I would. I was miserable. But I was struggling to figure out how to end that misery. I’d JUST moved! How could I quit?

This year in early April, I am looking back on the last five years and I feel a sense of relief and calm. I am grateful to have gotten through all of those On This Days with the help of my friends and the outlets to communicate what was happening. How could I have done it without posting about it? I don’t think I could have.

I love you,
GS