GLITCH in I'm Just Snacking

I’m sure that I’ve written about Pam’s great-niece, Maura before, but in case I haven’t (plus it’s probably been a few years since I did talk about it here) I’ll give a bit of history.

Maura was diagnosed with brain cancer (I do not remember the exact type) when she was 3 months old. She had courses of chemo and radiation for I think the first year of her life. It was hellish for her parents and siblings. I cannot imagine the weight of it. I kinda helped here and there with some house cleaning, but I didn’t do enough. I mean, I don’t think you can do enough in situations like that.

That was five years ago, and she’s doing her best to thrive.

Yes, she is delayed and on the autism spectrum, but once she learns something she has it nailed!

Pam and I went to her brothers for dinner today, and to just hang with the family. Maura was there of course. And.. okay.

I still don’t freakin’ understand why kids like me! I don’t mind, but I’m not a kid person. I’m an animal person, ya know? I didn’t want kids when I could have kids. I babysat almost every weekend for Kim so I was done with kids when I was still one myself.

But even back then younger kids wanted to hang out with me. I was the “cool aunt” I guess. Yeah. heh. I am the cool aunt. I’ll fess up on that one.

Don’t get me wrong! I wouldn’t ignore a child or anything like that. If a kid wants to have a tea party, I’m down for it. I love playing with kids, I just don’t want to take them home with me lol

Maura has always been… Curious? Interested? about me. I always blow it off to whatever bright color my hair is on that day. I honestly didn’t think too much about it. I’ve never got down and played with her. With her neurodivergence, I let her come to me if she wants to. Like to look at my tattoo. (I can see her getting a lot when she’s older) I respect her personal space. I won’t pay “too” much attention, either due to her anxiety about humans in general. But at every gathering, she’s watching me. She would come over and pat my arm give an air hug and say thank you for the gift.

Yesterday though, she came over to me, started talking to me about how I have no teeth lmao. I said that’s because I didn’t brush my teeth enough and that’s why I lost them all. Kids saying stuff like that does not bother me at ALL. How will they learn about other humans if they don’t ask or get curious and point at the giant zit on your forehead?

Anyhoo.

Her brother and sister went outside to hide eggs for her, and all that cute bunny stuff. Maura usually stays close to them, or mum and dad if they aren’t around. But she came over to where I was sitting, told her dad to give her his chair (omg so funny) and sat next to me, babbling a mile a minute. I hate to say I barely understand her due to delayed speech and her habit of making words out of nothing for something that is actually something. she has weird names for everyone and I love it.

After she found the eggs, instead of wanting to be with Quinn coloring or watching cartoons, she came back over and sat with me while we had dinner. She grabbed her dads phone (delayed, but not stupid) because she wanted me to watch her favorite cartoon with her. She did well telling me who the characters were and what they do.

Mum, dad, and sibs had “WTF she is not like this” looks on their faces. I just said “I’ve always been the cool aunt”. Maybe I get her a little more than others because my brain has never been normal either. I get her anxiety, her weird obsessions. She’s not normal, I’m not normal, so we sat and didn’t be normal together.

I think dad hit the nail when he said “she’s using her same power she uses with animals!” Yah, I guess? I connect with living beings in some strange way. I can understand their feelings without words. I just push all the hippy witchy love out of me I can so they know I would never hurt them.

I was really proud of her stepping out of her bubble to hang with me. It’s hard sometimes, even when you’re normal. And boy it improved my mental status a thousandfold. Really glad I didn’t bow out like my stupid depression was wanting me to do.

Gads. I’m sorry. I’ve babbled out a long entry.

See ya.