Candlelight Non-Delightful “date” in Journey Back to ME
- March 24, 2024, 5:11 p.m.
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- Public
Okay, so I’ve finally found the time to sit down and update about my date to the Candlelight Concert.
I showed up to his house looking absolutely stunning if I might say so myself. I of course have no photo evidence of this because having a mini photo shoot as I usually do would have taken a lot of time and energy that I didn’t have that day.
First, we went to dinner. I took him to this restaurant that I had never been, but had been wanting to go. I made reservations and everything. I ordered a glass of my favorite wine, and he ordered a glass of whiskey. For an appetizer we had a Cobb Salad with deviled eggs. Conversation was pretty good. However, he told me that he had been doing research to figure out what events had been going on in town that night (trying to figure out where I was taking him), and he said “the only thing I could find is a Candlelight Concert I wanted to go to.” This actually really upset me because the joy in this for me was the simple fact that it was all a surprise. So for someone not to trust my ability to surprise them (never mind the fact that I was paying for everything), it kind of annoyed me. Why ruin the joy of being surprised by doing research and eventually figuring out what it was. He was excited to find out that that was where I would be taking him.
For dinner, I ordered Vegetable Linguine, and he ordered the Sea Bass and it came with risotto or something. I was kind of taken aback at the price of the items he ordered. Now, did I have the money to cover dinner? Yes. I’m an adult that works and if I couldn’t afford it, I wouldn’t have gone. Even had the shoe been on the other foot and he had taken me out, I wouldn’t have ordered some of the most pricey items on the menu. I mean, I ordered an $8 glass of wine, and a $18 meal…he opted for top shelf liquor and a $30 plate. I had never seen him order so lavishly with his own money, so that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. With tip included I paid $100 for dinner. So that was strike 2 for me!
The Candlelight concert was held at the local Aviation Museum. However, they transformed the space into absolute peace, tranquility and ROMANCE! Our seats were front row. I could reach out and touch the stage if I wanted. We were close enough that I could read the music whilst the musicians were playing. That was one of the best parts for me, as a fellow musician…Anyway, there was a balcony overseeing the downstairs area where people paid extra to sit at tables to look DOWN on the concert. It was a very romantic atmosphere. I had left my wallet in the car, as to not have to tote around my extremely large and clunky wallet. The venue was selling wine and things. He didn’t offer to buy me any. Strike 3! LOL.
The music was beautiful, the musicians were amazing…it was an hour of really good music and beautiful ambiance. The glow of the candlelight’s with the beautiful sound of a stringed quartet was definitely a one of a kind experience.
After the concert we went back to his house, which I was actually looking forward to. I had packed my things to stay over night just in case. When he relaxes and has a good time, we really do have a good time. We sit around and watch movies, and smoke a little and laugh a lot. This is what I thought would happen. Instead, he wanted to sit out in his garage and WORK. Yes, you got that right. He wanted to sit down on his laptop in his cold garage and work, and he wanted me to HELP HIM. This put an extreme damper on my mood as I was getting tired at this point. The whole reason for this date was for him to take his mind off of things. Work is probably the most important thing to him (even more so than his daughter), but it is extremely unattractive to be that level of obsessed with work. After a while, I couldn’t stop yawning and I said I would be heading home. He offered for me to sleep over, but I knew this would mean that I’d be going to bed alone and I wouldn’t even get sex out of it. So I took it for what it was and drove home a little before midnight.
I haven’t seen him since!
There were so many moments while out on this date where I realized how much I have evolved from last year when I was all but obsessed with him. I have changed so much. I didn’t even feel like it was a date. I didn’t even feel an attraction…pretty much just further acceptance that this person simply is not the person for me and could never be. Whatever we had is long gone and over…and I am more than happy with that! If I was as invested as I was last year, I would have been ALL in my feelings over this effort I put forth. I just accepted it, let it go and moved forward! GO ME!
All in all, I’m glad I went! The concert was fun, dinner was great…I‘lol opt to just take myself out next time.
Last updated March 24, 2024
gutterpunk ⋅ March 24, 2024
Sounds like a really empowering moment, to realize the spark is gone and you weren’t gonna chase it down to get it back. I usually run after them with some matches.
I think ppl who like surprises and ppl who don’t like to be surprised have a tough time together because there’s not much room for compromise. The surprise itself is the thing that’s fun! It’s either a surprise or it’s spoiled, no middle ground.
And I fully agree about how you decide to order. I always look at the prices first when someone else is paying and make sure I’m not getting a top dollar item. I don’t mind springing for my close friends, ESPECIALLY the ones that would never buy themselves something expensive. But someone I’m just casually dating or getting to know? GTFO.
Was the concert itself worth it? I’ve seen them advertised in my city and I’m so intrigued.
iwontsugarcoat gutterpunk ⋅ March 27, 2024
Don't worry! I just sound evolved! It has been a long time coming with this individual. I spent the entire year last year (when I talk about "year" I usually speak in terms of school year because I work in education) and the entire Summer...being hurt by this person OVER AND OVER. He's extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. He never put forth the type of time and energy I put toward him. That was the hardest part to accept. However, I also really and truly had to accept that THIS IS WHO THIS PERSON IS and he will never change (unless he does do for himself).
I agree with you about the people who like surprise versus those who don't like to be. From the day I told him that there was somewhere I wanted to take him, I let it be known that he shouldn't ask questions because it would ruin the fun in it for me. This is how he is though, he completely disregards anyones feelings toward anything, but when it comes to him ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE if someone went against his boundaries.
And his ordering the most expensive items was SO UNATTRACTIVE! I'm a single mom of two that works in education and makes WAY less than I deserve. He went from making 6 figures to being unemployed for the last year, so I would think if anyone would know how to conserve a dollar, it would be him. I'm the type of person that wouldn't even buy MYSELF the $30 plate and top shelf liquor!
The concert was very much worth it! I love that the concerts aren't long. They really go out of their way to set the ambiance. The candles they use are absolutely beautiful and from what I've seen of the music selections for the different concerts are always good. A nice intimate setting. The woman that sat next to me had taken herself out. I will next time as well!
<3