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March 18, 2024, 9:42 p.m.
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Hi! Let’s see. New week. New me? Hah. Here are some things, in no real particular order, but some of it is sort of chronological:
Did I tell you I noticed a concerning spot/lesion on my eyelid last week? Yeah, it sprung up overnight and reminded me of my squamous cell carcinoma…and the resulting Mohs surgery on my shoulder just a few short months ago. I freaked out because, um, *eyelid*??? I called the dermatologist’s office (the one who dx my last cancerous spot), and the receptionist was like, “yeah, nobody can see you for months”. And I was like, “HELLO…CANCER??!!” And she suggested I try to send a message via the patient portal. Brilliant. I was able to take a pic and send it through the portal and lo and behold, the derm wanted to see me IMMEDIATELY. Clearly he was concerned with what he saw, right? So here I was, looking at my droopy eyelid (I have one super hooded lid with a lot of excess skin), thinking…well, if it’s cancer, maybe they can go in and give me an eyelift while they’re cutting the SOB out? This is turning into a long bullet, ha. I get to the doc’s office and he takes one quick look and is like, well, I have good news and bad news. Okayyyy. The bad news is that there were actually not one, but *two* lesions - one of them is simply an age-related spot (a barnacle, if you will), and the other thing…the thing that I saw that was freaking me out? WAS A PIMPLE!! HAHAH!! Well, better safe than dead, right?
But *then*...while I had the doc’s attention, I decided to ask him about the little bald spot on the top of my head. I noticed it a few weeks ago while I was staying with [Athena] before my colonoscopy. See, I part my hair in the center and as I was getting ready for bed or maybe getting up in the morning, the light in her bathroom was different than the light in mine and I saw a glaring spot on the top of my head! Turns out…there was NO HAIR in this spot. It was a bald spot! I showed [Athena] in the morning and she said she’d noticed it too at some point. But WOW! I’ve never, ever had a glaring spot. Not even through chemo! Sure, during chemo I lost a shitton of hair, but it was evenly sparse, not like a hole - and this is a whole hole. I immediately moved my part to a side part and kinda went on my way. But I decided to address it with the derm while I had 30 more seconds of his time (he’d double booked me, but thank goodness I was there!). He took out his magnifying glass and looked at my bald spot and asked me if I had any thyroid issues and told me that this is an autoimmune condition. Uh, yeah. I told him I have Hashimotos, but I keep it under control with thyroid meds. Apparently, not under enough control? Because he ran out of the room and came back with a gigantic syringe full of steroids and shot it a million times into that freaking bald spot! He said it’s a type of alopecia! He told me he wants to see me again in three weeks, but he thinks we may have “caught” it early. OH MY LORD. I’ve worked so hard to keep my long red hair through so much stress and cancer and chemo and on and on and on…I *can’t* lose my hair NOW!! I don’t yet see a difference, but I think I’ll be getting steroid shots for a few months, from the research I’ve done. Stay tuned for exciting updates of my balding hairline! *sobbbbb*
But how is 75 Hard going, you ask? I told you I had to do a reboot, right? I’d forgotten to take a progress pic one day and if you forget one little part of the program, you go back to Day 1. So after I took a few days break, I started over. Today I’m finishing up Day 22 (woulda been Day 78 since I started this whole thing on Jan 1), and I’m honestly loving it. I think this is going to be a permanent thing for the rest of my life. Sure, I will tweak some things here and there, but I absolutely love my morning routine of getting up early, reading, exercising, getting ready for the workday, taking a good dog walk, etc. And I love the healthy food. And I’ve even bid a fond farewell to alcohol. I know this is a weird thing to say, but I may have had my very last drink. I’ve now lost 15 pounds, and my clothes are fitting so much better. I’m starting to get much more limber again - y’all, my hips had been so tight, I couldn't sit cross-legged on Jan 1 when I started this thing. Now I’ve started a stretching routine to get me into a split!!! Yeah, it’s going to take me a while, but I’m determined to do the splits by the time I turn 60. HAHAHA! I’m laughing, but I’m also serious.
And then how’s the monthly volunteer thing? Well, yesterday I signed up for my April event, and it’s a Saturday clean-up of one of our local trails down by the big river. I’m looking forward to that because I can spend the morning cleaning and then continue on with my walking later on. I am loving this monthly adventure so much that I might have to add more days during each month!
I don’t feel like writing about my boss or my big boss or working from home. It’s all the same old song and dance, but I just got off the phone with Best Bud and she’s struggling with her work situation, and I know that every place has its messes and weirdos we have to deal with. It’s not necessarily better anywhere anymore, and that’s such a bummer. She just got back from one of those long Asia trips (Vietnam, China, etc.), and she said *her* boss and *her* big boss were dicks to her the whole time, and that stuff sucks. So I do want to start networking harder. This week I’m headed to a huge conference, so that will be good. I will get to see some former colleagues and talk to some new potential peeps, so I need to make sure I use this time wisely. Whyyyyy do I have to do this grind? I feel like I’m nowhere near retirement, yet so many of my contemporaries have already pulled the trigger. I may be working the rest of my days…and that would be FINE if I didn’t have to work with bozos and jackholes. Ha.
And my last bullet for this entry is the sad news that my lesbian crush moved away!! I’m so sad that she’s gone (truly) because she really was a ray of sunshine in my life. She (and her wife) got me into pickleball, and for that I am grateful. She invited me to the super fun, super gay dance club. She was the catalyst for a lot of things that I do here now. So, she didn’t move far, FAR away, but I won’t see her on my morning dog walks anymore and that’s a bummer. Clearly time to get out and meet more people!
Okay, it’s well past my bedtime. Next time maybe I’ll give you the dating scoop and family drama. Whaddya say?
Love and snugs,
GS
Complicated Disaster ⋅ March 19, 2024
Sounds like your pimple was a good thing after all!
Hard 75 sounds HARD! I can't see myself ever giving up drinking for good but it's not a thing for me anymore in my day to day life.
Shame about your lesbian!!
xx
colder ⋅ March 19, 2024
Wow! This was a full entry! I’m glad you mentioned the hair thing to the doc and maybe he can help. I miss morning routines too… but I gotta do what the little boy does 🙂 One day, again!
pandora ⋅ March 19, 2024
Love this volunteering - and wow, super impressive re hard 75! I could do maybe ONE of the 45 min workouts a day, but TWO? nuh uh.
Nash ⋅ March 19, 2024
I found a tiny but really hard little bump on my forearm and now you have my nervous. You go through the whole cancer song and dance and now the thing that gets your hair is alopecia? Wow. You know, the most effective weight loss program I have ever endured is abstaining from alcohol. Not only do you skip the calories, it causes inflammation, makes you feel awful the following day and lowers your inhibitions thus the likelihood of making poor diet decisions.
WhatDreamsMayCome ⋅ March 21, 2024
Unfortunately bozos seem to make the world go round. Just think how much more smoothly it would turn without them!
It sure seems you have had more than your fair share of health issues.
Wishing you well.
Serin ⋅ March 23, 2024
Yay boring eye things! I'm sorry about the hair, though. I hope the steroids help.
Lux Lunae ⋅ March 23, 2024 (edited March 23, 2024)
Edited
I've had the 75 hard on my mind for a while. I wanted to get more consistent with my workouts in general first but am thinking it would be a good fit for my life and I think I could happily give up alcohol and get the 0% wine for times I'd like a drink. What sort of workouts do you do at home? I am not the biggest fan working out outside since our winters are not great, but I'll think of something.
Great news about your eye!
World of Bre ⋅ March 23, 2024
Glad to hear that the growth near your eyelid was just a simple pimple. Never thought I would say a pimple is good news!
After reading you I decided to also.do some volunteer work once a month. I am.doing the nursery at church for Easter with my mother. Also on Good Friday I am doing a food pantry collection for a local food shelter.
Good formyounwith Hard 75. I think all workout programs need to be tweaked a little to fit each individual person. I follow a marathon training program that is really a compilation of 4 different training programs.
And it's really hard to give up drinking. My family has a long history of alcohol problems. My brother is am alcoholic. Two of.my.dads brothers died from alcohol related issues. I was a borderlj e alcoholic in college. Reason ingrained about 75 pounds in college was from drinking so much. I stopped drinking my senoir year in college I went to a party in Troy.NY with my beastie Jenn. I ended up sleeping with 2 different guys in the same night. They were room mates. One passed out so I then also.slept with his roommate in the same room. I was so mortified the next morning that i swore off men and became a BUG for a month or so.
When I realized I had slept with so many guys it scared me. I was.only.21, 60 lbs overweight, a borderline alcoholic and was.proud of the fact I could put a condom on a guys pens with my mouth it was time to change. When I realized I had slept with 2 guys in the same room on the same.night. Also the one guys tongue was where the other guys penis was just 30 minutes ago I knee I had to change.
So I got a job on weekends to avoid parties. Gave up drinking and started to workout and run everyday. Are well. Took me almost 18 months to loose.the wt. I was celebrate the entire.time.
When people would ask me why I didn't drink I would say it was bad for my kegs. They would say because it made them wobble? I would say no because it made them spread.