Back to Indiana in The 2020s

If you think whites are “privileged” you’re deluding yourself. It’s just that I keep hearing the term and I assure you we have to play by the same rules as everyone else. We’re no more or less special let alone privileged.

To clarify what I was saying about Trump the other day, this doesn’t mean it still doesn’t piss the shit out of me that a known criminal who incited a riot and has done God only knows how many other illegal things can be reelected, as I believe he will, without paying the consequences whatsoever. Meanwhile, I lost my freedom and thousands of dollars because I spoke out against being victimized two decades and three states ago.

I was shocked to learn that same-sex relationships were illegal in the US up until 2003. I thought they were decriminalized decades before that! To think that I could have been arrested for being with Kacey and then later with Brenda is kind of mind-boggling.

But then how did so many gay bars exist before 2003 without being raided and shut down?

Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like to live in certain times and I imagine either way back in the past or if I was young today, like in my 20s or 30s. I’d say it’s probably a good thing the internet didn’t exist when I was young because I was a naive idiot who might have gotten into all kinds of trouble.

I wonder if it would have been easier to meet women. Back when I was young all you had was word of mouth or going to bars. If something isn’t meant to be whether it’s by design or not, it won’t be no matter how available it may be in general or how hard you work for it, so I don’t know that it would have made a difference. I think I still would have been met with the same rejection I got from the gay community years ago due to being very feminine. I simply had no desire to follow the so-called lesbian dress code that to this day I have never understood. Why should I have had to cut my hair off, ditch makeup, skirts, dresses, and heels, and walk and talk like a guy simply because I was attracted to women? I never understood the connection.

I know people can’t always help how they look and while they certainly do have a right to do what they want, can it be a coincidence that so many of them have short hair and are boyish in appearance? It really at least seems to be some kind of dress code just like it’s the opposite with gay guys appearing feminine. Again, it never made much sense to me to want to look like what you’re not supposedly attracted to but eh, whatever floats your boat.

I finally finished the Cabin Fever challenge I would have finished over a week ago had I not gotten sick. I’m back in Indiana with 1299 miles to go.

Having a thunderstorm tonight which is always nice.

I always used to say that when we moved from Auburn to Citrus Heights we traded in money issues for health problems for me. I asked Tom yesterday if I was imagining it or if we’ve been doing the best we’ve done financially since being here and he said yes, we are. Funny that it’s at a time when I get sicker than I’ve ever been. I don’t see it ever happening but if we were suddenly millionaires I can just imagine what my health would be like!

I haven’t been sick but I still have a bit of nausea and acid reflux at times. I also have moments where I wonder if I’m infected but I’m guessing I’m not. If I am, it’s mild.

My fatigue is kind of bad today. I was going to nap but couldn’t sleep. I think that’s a good thing, though, because napping yesterday may have done more harm in the end than good because it meant staying up later than usual and not sleeping as long. If I don’t sleep seven or eight hours at once, I’m more likely to be tired.

My appetite is still down as well and I’m down another half a pound. I still expect that to return, though. I’ve kind of got mixed emotions about that one. It’s good for me to lose weight but I also miss enjoying food. It’s not like I’m starving, though. I just can’t eat as much. I’ve been averaging around 1000 calories give or take a couple hundred. I’m actually getting hungry right now just talking about it, lol, so I’m going to go make something to eat.

Last updated March 10, 2024