Today in Days of My Destiny

L rang his parents this afternoon after not hearing from them all week (unusual, though not under the circumstances). They told him that they were going to sms us this afternoon to let us know that they have read my letter and will sit down and write back on Sunday. So that means a response should come in the mail maybe by Wednesday or Friday (based on the good chance that they’ll send it on Monday, and we only get mail 3 days a week at our house). L’s mum told him that it’s “been a big week” for her. I asked him if it’s because of the letter and he responded with a definite yes. Part of me wants to be like, “Seriously?? Over THIS?” But the more mature side of me is like, Well… this is big stuff in their world. And I’m trying to empathise or sympathise, or maybe both.

I didn’t get up to much today. We’ve had slight conjunctivitis, it started on Tuesday afternoon and because I got onto it quickly, it’s mostly gone by now. M started school again on Tuesday but has been home Wednesday and Thursday (today). She should be back at school tomorrow. It’s been nice having her around for an extra few days. Today I mostly spent my time going through all our old home videos and renaming them, just for easy access when we’re looking for anything specific (if ever lol). It’s nice going through the old videos. There are way too many of M doing not much at all when she’s like 3 months old… I must admit I deleted a few today. I know they were important at the time and that I filmed the way she moved her hand, or the way she was trying to grab the bottle… but seriously, 7 years into this parenting thing and it’s like well yeah, that was cute … at the time.... but I don’t have time or the patience now to watch it. It doesn’t hold the same meaning, especially when she’s lost so many teeth and can spell gigantic words like “comfortable” and “fantastic” at her age, and when she can ride her bike and has a sense of humour and can make more sophisticated sense of her world. You know? Those little tiny weeny moments of how she moved her hand… just don’t hold the same kind of substance that other videos might have (for example one of her spending quality time with L, or other videos of her doing not much - but at least they’re still more interesting than the ones I deleted lol).

I watched some of those videos with M while Little L had a rest today. It was bonding. She laughed at different things than I did, but it was fun. For example in one video she’s all of about … 5 months max, and she happens to have the hiccups. It cracked her up to watch her younger self with the hiccups lol. So then I cracked up, and we just laughed and laughed. There were some home videos of us just hanging around at mum’s, and she noticed how my youngest sister’s face hasn’t changed at all between the ages of 8 and 15, lol. I think that’s pretty funny, haha. For the rest of the afternoon, I could tell M had a stronger sense of belonging, just because we watched the videos. She knew my love for her has been there from the start. In one video, she’d just coughed on my nose, and in the video I’m like, “Way to go, coughing on my nose” or something like that, but because she’s only a few months old, I say it over and over again in this ridiculous pitch, the way you do when cute babies are cute babies, and especially when they’re your own! M loved that part, and then hours later, I heard her repeating my phrase in the same way I did in the video, lol. SO cute.

I mowed the lawn and when I was almost done, I saw her out of the corner of my eye, running up to me, happily and freely. She wanted to join me so she sat on my lap. It was hard to see what I was doing after that and I really wanted her to get off but I let her stay, because she’s my girl and I love her.