I don't want to write this. in You want to stalk something?

Well this first portion I intend to fill with nonsense, just in case the private books can give the preview to the public. I am unsure of which it is. I would assume that it doesn’t show the tiny little preview of the first few sentences, anyway that should be enough.

How about we put this in the form of a Dear you? I haven’t written one of these in a long time.
Here we go, you all can already guess who it is about. lol

Dear you,
Alright “Dear” may be a stretch at this point. So how do I even begin? Remember a few months back when you started dating this jackass, and I kept pointing out all this shit that you agreed with. All the shit that I pointed out was not good shit about this guy. I’ll give you this, just this one thing, you 2 have lasted longer than I expected. However, While I was pointing out allllll that shit. About how you can’t trust him, because he was doing shit behind your back, and then when you inevitably found out....his response was, and I quote, “I didn’t think you’d find out.” Yeah, that’s promising. Changing plans without even telling you, based on his own selfish desires. Mhm sure. How about him raging about you snooping through his shit, because you were suspicious of him doing that shit behind your back. To which my response was, “Every girl is going to snoop, it is your [the guy’s] job not to have anything for her to find.” Obviously, I am right. I always am. Regardless, I remember predicting that this shit with you disappearing was going to happen. I even pointed it out as it was occurring. And guess what? How long has it been since we actually talked?

What were some of the things you claimed about me? Important to you? Can’t see your life without me? And a bunch of other horse shit. Hmm, about that whole nonsense you spewed to me. Let’s just look at the multitude of times you flat out disappeared because you started dating some dude. I don’t even remember the names of half of them, because quite frankly I have been dumping the details, because why would I need to remember that shit for someone that so quickly vanishes from my life when claiming to care. So I remember it was probably 4-6 months the first time. Your then bf pressured you into stop talking me, because he was intimidated (a comical running theme it seems.) The next one demanded it of you. I remember that one pretty clearly because it pissed me right the fuck off. You said something along the lines of, “Apparently I’m not supposed to talk to you anymore.” I inquired more details, and you said you didn’t know and you would tell me more later. You then proceeded to just not talk to me. Leave me hanging, I ended up asking about an update, and you asked why it mattered so much. Well, you tried to bail just by ignoring me and walking away on a cliffhanger. Sure, that’s cool. Then go and make it abundantly clear that you valued the asshole that made you choose rather than the guy that supported and helped you and made you feel better and what not when the asshole was being, well, an asshole…like I said he was. So 8 months pass, and then one day you messaged me while I was at my friend’s house. I ignored it because I was pissed, then the next morning I asked what you wanted, and you said never mind. Never mind. You actually messaged me…after 8 months, why? BECAUSE YOU AND THE ASSHOLE GOT INTO A BIG ARGUMENT!!! 8 fucking months, and you send ‘Hey’ so that you can have me cheer you up and make it all better? 8 months. And you try to come back as if you didn’t fucking ditch out for an obvious asshole? Seriously, fucked up. We’ll come back to that. Anyway, your ‘apology’ consisted of ‘Sorry I was a bitch to you.’ Let me ask those of you reading this.....Does that even remotely cover an appropriate apology for trying to bail without saying anything, because your then boyfriend demanded of it [key word there] because he was intimidated with how close you and I were? And then coming back with the expectation of my to just cheer you up, make you feel better, brush you off and send you right back on your way not giving a shit how your self-centered bitchy behavior made me feel? Hell no.
Now don’t take this Dear you as living in the past, it is merely setting the stage for the now.

So whatever, I let you come back and we rebuilt what you destroyed. Yes, you. And you know what I recall. I recall my laying all my cards down on the table and making a fighting stand for whatever the fuck it was between us. And yet here you are again. Proving how fucking little you cared. You talked a big game, and acted in a way that made me believe that I really was something to you. But here we are again.

Whatever, let’s move on to this current dude. I don’t remember his name. I think I called him Jar Jar Binx because he’s a fucking idiot. That makes me think this one is Jarrette? Maybe. That sounds right. Anyway, I called this shit. Like I said earlier, sooooooo many red flags, which you ignored. And at the start of it there was a time that you talked to him about me. Told him how important I was. How I was always there for you and always ready to make you feel better and all this shit. To which he claimed he was happy you had someone like that. Well, you also claimed that, and I quote, “If he had a problem with you [me] that would have been the end of it right there.” Funny. I distinctly remember him trying to add me on facebook one time. I ignored it, because let’s face it. We allll know what that really was. That was an attempt for him to make a “power move” to try and intimidate me away from her. Fucking idiot. First of all, you can’t intimidate me. Especially with such shallow depths of wit, and a slow processor, if you catch my meaning. I’ve made grown men cry merely by saying a few words. You think a little boy with delusions of grandeur can intimidate me? There are many reasons why I am called and go by King. Are you brave enough to figure out a few? Obviously not. Cowards convince their girls to abandon the people that actually give a damn and have been nothing but good to them. Now, maybe I am wrong. Maybe he didn’t try to convince her to bail. Possibly she did it all on her own. So be it. Whichever. It really doesn’t matter at this point. Either way. 3 times? That’s a few too many times. So point being, you ditched....again.

So let’s do the play by play after you bailed. Before you did I told you it was happening. I pointed it flat out that she was disappearing again. Bailing. Told her how I didn’t want that to happen, and that I couldn’t promise that I would be as welcoming back should she try to return. You went ahead and bailed anyway.
3 months pass, before your next message. Again you try to return as if it was just a day. I posted the conversation on here I believe. Yup here: https://www.prosebox.net/entry/162126/

So that was 3 months in. I don’t really call that a conversation because that was nothing but you testing the waters to see if you still had me hooked. I think I handled it well. And then the mentioning reading an entry of mine? Congrats. You clearly didn’t really read it. Especially considering my pointing out the duration. So that I didn’t count. So rereading that, she clearly stopped talking because she had no words. Strange to have no words in a situation like that. Regardless. 2 weeks pass and she sends this, “We put the youngest horse down today :( I don’t expect anything from you I just thought you’d want to know since you were around her.” Obviously I was sad about the horse, but clearly an attempt to get me to say something or to comfort her and make her feel better. Especially with that “I don’t expect anything from you.” Clearly there is some recognition of mistreatment if she doesn’t expect me to respond. I didn’t respond. I ignored it. 2 more months pass. This is now fairly recent. She sends “Hey” I ignore it. (This ‘Dear yous’ pov changes dont worry about that) Just Hey. Obviously I ignore it. Why the fuck should I bother responding to Hey? 5 months and you wanna just stroll up like nothing happened. This is the third time. And 5 months. 5 months. You want me back around? Bitch you gotta do more than hey. You know where I live, where I work. Sending a message with just hey is not going to cut it. Especially as a repeat offender.

Quite frankly, I don’t know if there is a coming back for you at this point. It’s not the same. I’m sure there’s a possibility of rebuilding, but that would require you to actually make the effort. I did my fighting for this relationship (whatever it used to be) . You want me back around, I need to something more than some weak ass bullshit. I don’t know if I see you the same as I did. I would have been waiting for you to come back. Now I am just expecting it down the road. Waiting to see how long you last, before trying to come back. I just want to see what you even say or do. If you do. Either way, I am indifferent. I just don’t care if you do or don’t. Obviously, having cared about you so much, for so long, there is a chance of things getting better between us, but I genuinely believe that the only way that happens is off of your effort to prove that you actually give a flying fuck instead of just presenting some weak ass bullshit again.

I didn’t want to write about you. I don’t want to waste one more entry on you. It’s not worth it. However, first 3 months before an attempt, 2 weeks before saying something else, and now 2 months after that attempt. More frequent I suppose, but not a real attempt. Hey is not enough.

I guess that is all I have to say. This will more than likely be the only and last entry written in regards to her in recent months.

King out.

P.S.~ You can think whatever you want, but the fact is that walking away from me is always a mistake. I have done nothing but improved your life, and you walked away from that. You can blame whoever or whatever you want, but the undeniable fact is that you got lucky when you met me.

I’m adding a bit to this.

I just remembered [I have no idea if this updates you when I edit it or not, but whatever] She has my god damn championship jersey and the Queen of Hearts necklace as well. She sure as shit doesn’t wear it anymore. Funny considering she said before “I [she] never take(s) it off” lolz

October 10

Okay, so I have no idea if this alerts you to my writing or not, since it is an already existing entry and what not.

Figured I would think a little bit out loud. And give an update.
So last weekend, at like 4 am I decided to say fuck it, unfriend her from fb and the people around her really as well along with deleting the app she used to message me all the time from my phone. It was like 4 am because I was at a friends house celebrating Smash Bros 3DS launch. Anyway, deleted her at 4 am from FB and not a few minutes later she sends a friend request. Deleted it. A few days pass. Today, while I was at work, another friend request. Deleted. I mean, I hate the whole facebook being a part of this stupid ass drama and shit. I think the whole situation in regards to her is fucking retarded. Seriously, fucking dumb. I told her this shit was happening again. And look at where we are. Anyway, so 2 friend requests since deleted. “Unfriended” And yet, no thought process of ‘oh he deleted the first request, I’ll try again, but say absolutely nothing.’ Deleted that shit quickly. And mind you, I have a public profile. (I believe it still is) Regardless, anybody is able to message me. I don’t need to be your friend to receive messages. So, why send requests without saying anything. Clearly she is aware of my not responding and what not. “I don’t expect anything” from when she told me about the horse. Clearly recognizing the situation. Deleted friend request AT 4 AM....A pretty blatant notion.

I do not understand this chick’s thought process. If there even is any. Just thought you would like the update on what’s happened in regards to that. I wish I had nothing to say on that topic, but you all can be in the know.

Last updated October 11, 2014