No idea how to title this. in Matters of the heart.

Alright. So, lack of better judgement or decidedly careless. I responded a little bit to...her. -_- . Not much was said. Ya know I will just type it all out. It's short.

5/19/2014 Her: Hey

7/10/14 Her:Hey

7/12/14 Me: ?

7/14/14 Her: How's life?

Me: ?

Her: It was a simple question. Why the confusion?

Me: ...random

Her: Fine I'll go back to my life and leave you be

Me: It's been like 3 months

Her: You kept actual track this time

Me: It's not hard to tell time

Her: Says the person who said it was only a week when it had been 2 last time

Me: Well 2 weeks isn't as big a deal as 3 months

Her: Yeah true OK this was a great convo.. I guess I'll go

Me: Ok?

Her: I got on your prosebox thing today

Me: ?

Her: No it hasn't hit me yet

Me: ?

Her: That post you wrote back in like April

Me: What did it say?

Her: Honestly I don't remember but the last sentence was like has it hit you yet?

Me: Not surprising.

Her: Indeed

Me: ...

Her: What?

Me: Indeed?

End conversation.

...Thoughts?

I have some. Do you?

Now this was just last night so, whatever. But let's just take a quick look at what we have here.

First coming back and expecting it just be normal? What would give you that idea? You are a repeat offender of disappearing because of some dude you start dating. Why the confusion? I wasn't confused? I was curious as to why the hell you are messaging me. When you disappear like this, you tend to only message me when something is either wrong, or you are upset. It was a question mark of what do you want?

Go back to your life and leave me be. As I recall you were making claims about how I was a part of your life. Funny how some dude changes that so quickly and it being so common place when you date. Insert a bunch of shit you said about how I'm important or not going anywhere or shit like that that I have already posted previously.

I kept actual track this time? Clearly you must have as well. And yes, I keep track, especially when it begins with you dating some dude. Wonder why? Because I am looking to see if you beat your vanishing act record. I expect it at this point. What does that say to you?

You guess you'll go, because I wasn't satisfied with your attempt to just brush the fact that you are doing the same shit again under the rug? 3 months is a chunk of time to go not talking to someone you claimed to be so important. I especially like the whole part about how "if he had a problem with you when i brought you up I would have been done with him right there" and then here we are, you not talking to me...again. You would probably try to claim that I didn't make an effort to talk to you. And yep you'd be right. I refuse to message you first when it comes to this shit. I have made my effort and proven myself on multiple occasions. Can you say the same? Why should I continue to carry this friendship when all it takes is some random ass dude to show up for you to disappear for months on end?

You got on my Prosebox? And the thing that stood out to you was a post from April? And not my previous post that went on about this whole thing? That's what you chose to read? An entry back in April, that pointed shit out to you, and clearly was over your head or you chose to ignore?

It hasn't hit you yet? How do you want me to point it out to you? As I always do. I mean shit the last two entries of mine point the issue out pretty damn well. You wonder why I get pissed off and feel unappreciated? Look at all the shit I've supported you through and shit. And then some dude shows up and you're gone for months at a time. Of course that's definitely how appreciation is shown. That's how you show someone that they mean something to you. Quite frankly, you are making it pretty damn evident that I am expendable, and babe that is a huge mistake. Deep down you know that.

Now, I find this little bit interesting. The fact that you kept track of time as well. You only messaged me one way. When I ignored your first message 2 months ago....did you make any effort to contact me through other means? Nope. Clearly I have carried this whole thing. And quite frankly with how nonchalantly you have gotten back in touch, and messaged, and were willing to go again, there's not much effort seen on your part.

Now, I am sitting here wondering how to handle it. Part of me thinks about how much you mean or meant to me...whichever works appropriately...and wants to give you a chance to say something worth a damn other than hey. Which for the record with saying you got on my prosebox thing, the last entry I wrote LITERALLY said that Hey was not good enough. Is "How's life" your way of stepping up your game, because if so, Boooooooo. So part of me wants to try it again, but a large part of me is just like what the hell? This shit again? Do you deserve someone of my caliber when you do this shit so many times? Do I deserve to be put through it repeatedly when it is/was clearly known that I care/cared? Do I deserve that type of shit from even a generic friend, much less someone that claimed to need me, and that I was their best guy friend. I think we all know the answers to those. Why? That's one big question of mine. Why should I even make an effort to hear you out? Now you would probably, trying to be cute, say something like, "Because you love me" Because I love you? That's not good enough anymore. (Did I really just have a snipit of a conversation with you, between me and myself?) What is there for you to even say or do? It hasn't hit you yet? At this rate, when it does hit you, you are going to be messaging me on every form of contact, and I am just not going to answer, unless I have a few drinks the night you message me, or if you strike a nerve. I'm anxious to see how you handle me not being there for once.

You want to talk to me? Bring something more to the fucking table.

King. Out.