I think I have a plan with regards to this SP thing:
Operation End It All – Once and For All (OEA –OFA). I know that this is not the most sophisticated plan, but I’m leaving for China in one month exactly. I will be gone for 2 ½ weeks. I know from of experience that this is a very good and effective way of letting things fade away. It’s happened time and time again for me…and because of the fragility of our relationship, I believe that I can pull this one off.
Rationale:
(1) He’s seeing other women already. Losing me will be minor at this point because there are more to fall back on/with, whatever.
(2) After 2 ½ weeks it’s easy to let dwindling feelings just die
(3) He clearly doesn’t care that much about me anymore. He keeps me around because he knows I’m around! He’s stopped asking how I’m doing or even what I’m doing, so really, it doesn’t matter, does it?
(4) I don’t even know why he continues to want to see me, besides convenience. Being in China is very inconvenient!
(5) He may very likely have the same plan in mind. If so, all the better!
(6) Speaking of better, you’re right – I do deserve much, much better.
It’s not that I’m trying to avoid conflict. We’ve certainly had conflict and we’ve talked through it. That’s the problem, and it has been a problem in the past as well…I have such a hard time being mad at ANY guy I date/almost marry that when we sit down to have “the talk” we end up falling into each other’s arms!
I’m actually kind of excited about this idea. This could very well do the trick for us. For the first time in a long time I’m looking forward to going to China!
It doesn’t hurt that he’s turning into a MEGA-Bachelor. Today he sent me a text telling me of all the things that he’s got going on this weekend. Why the eff would he tell me that he’s going on a boys weekend with his new BFF, traversing the county and ending up in Vegas before heading to work in another town the following Monday? Why?
It was to see my reaction, that’s why. I know this is the case. He wants to continue to say that it’s my issue and see? I still don’t trust him. Well, fuck that noise. I DON’T trust him!
Enough about him.
I have a date for Thursday evening. We met on Tinder and I have been playing super hard to get and he’s in pretty hot pursuit…sending nice texts about how excited he is to meet me. I am not holding my breath about anything because I’ve been in this place before…forcing myself to go on dates and stuff.
But still, a distraction in the midst of destruction. I’ll take it.
I love yous.
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