Horoscope of the Day:
September 22, 2014
Welcome to the surreal world, Scorpio. Your creative and spiritual channels blow wide open as the Sun decamps to Libra and your ethereal twelfth house for a month. This is a fantasy-fueled time meant more for surrendering and dreaming than for building something new. You can also expect to parse through some heavy emotions between now and October 23. Time to deal with the claim checks of that personal baggage, Scorpio. Instead of sweeping feelings under the rug, bring them to light. Your diary, therapist, and supportive circle of friends will be your greatest allies now. Mourn and release!
Wow. Good thing I have a therapy session tonight. I am always so confused after I spend any amount of time with SP, and the follow-up to the past weekend is no exception. Guys, this is a huge, HUGE pattern for me and I know it.
Just to prove it to myself, I spent a small chunk of time (but big enough to see this clearly) over the weekend reading old, old OD entries about LDL (Long Distance Love, aka. David) and how every time I’d fly to San Francisco to see him I’d end up falling in love with him again and again. I tortured myself with this stuff. And I guess I’d forgotten all about that feeling. But the words were just so passionate! I loved that asshole and actually considered giving up everything to move to SF/Berkeley/Oakland (wherever he was at the moment). And I mean, I considered moving out there without a job or a place to live simply because he said he’d take care of me. [cough…sputter] Right.
The best, best thing in the world for me is that we didn’t live even remotely close to each other. Even still, I was the one who’d go visit him. He came to see me ONCE in about 4 or 5 years. Yes, I said YEARS. I spent all of the mental time and energy as well as all of the $$$ to fly out there and be tortured. I tortured myself willingly. God. What a glutton for punishment was I.
Correction, what I glutton I AM.
I spent almost all weekend with SP. Half the time we spent in pure bliss…the other half the time I spent in some state of repressed agony disguised as semi-confusion, I guess. That’s the only way I know how to put it. Because it doesn’t hurt when we’re physically together. It hurts when I go home and think about what he’s said.
I am now being told that this mess is MY FAULT. These are MY ISSUES and they are all MINE to resolve.
Hmmmm…where have I heard this before? Oh that’s right, from EXMS!! That’s my first ex-fiancé, for those who don’t know all my former fiancés. Patterns, oh patterns.
And the funny thing is? In an unrelated topic, SexyPants told me that now is the time for me to take some calculated risks. Of course, we were talking about some other things that concern other parts of my life, but I think it’s so interesting that he actually said that. But then, he is the king of risks, and it’s been very good for him to take those risks in business. In love, I think he probably thinks the same way. You know, YOLO and all that – why not just take some you-know-what on the side if you can get away with it? And now he’s in the most perfect position of all. After all, we have no commitment to each other. He’s free to see whomever he wants and I have zero say.
Sorry, that last paragraph is super confusing. I don’t have the energy to re-write. I hope you get the gist.
Bottom line, the horoscope above says it’s time. Everything in my life is screaming, “It’s time!”
I’m scared. I wish that we had 1,000 miles between us. That always helps.
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