So Many Thoughts Accrued in My New Life

Revised: 01/13/2024 10:36 a.m.

  • Jan. 13, 2024, midnight
  • |
  • Public

I am exhausted and invigorated.
I have no money and I have a lot of money (coming to me).
I have worked every holiday in the last year, and had no vacation time.
I have 74 hours of holiday time that they may or may not give me,
And 99.4 hours of vacation time that I have just received.
Personally, I’d rather the cash than have some little old lady divvy it out to me as she sees fit.

I spent last night taking care of a pedophile (not guilty by reasons of insanity).
He went to high school with one of the big businessmen around town or at least that what he told me.
He was one of my first cases in my unofficial Sherlock cases almost a year ago. He was bloated and his skin was yellow. He was shitting himself and his roommate had to live with it. I had to live with it. The roommate didn’t know any better. He just hopped up and began pacing through it pacing, pacing and pacing all day up the hallways and into the common area. Finally, I freaked out and threw a fit to my bosses’ boss and walked him into the room “after it had been cleaned” and my bosses’ boss and he was disgusted.

They sent the pedophile to the hospital. They sent him back to the hospital. I had pointed out he looked bloated like the starving children in Africa, like on the commercials, from malnutrition. I still think it’s pancreatitis.

Anyway. Last night was rewarding. He has a colonoscopy bag now. His stomach isn’t bloated anymore, he has his strength back, and his room doesn’t feel like something from a Saw movie torture chamber.

The secret was psychology. I had read his file and I knew the Staff were neglecting him due to the nature of his crime.

My sister is fat. Like really fat. It’s dangerous. However, my “family” will not intervene nor allow me to. I give her 10 year before she dies of health related issues. She may not make it to 50, and almost definitely not to 60. My dreams are haunted with visions of her gravesite. But, what’s worse are the visions of the quality of life she will have during those 10 years.

Fuck you, America. Fuck you for allowing this. Fuck you for turning me into the villain for speaking out against it. I saw her skinny once with a 12 pack of Diet Pepsi riding along in her automobile every day.

Europeans speak out against it. Because it does affect the community. It affects what I check at the doctor’s office. It affects who I date or marry.

But, here in ‘Merca folks’er free to drinks 12 packs of diet papsi everyday and you can’t say nuffin’ ‘bout it.


Last updated January 13, 2024


TL January 14, 2024

It must be hard to witness your sister live with that. I'm sorry :(

The fat activism and body positivity are what woke me up. Dr. Linda Bacon was one of many, who went on a propaganda campaign, with a book as well, claiming that obesity was safe and healthy. Imagine telling someone who needs help that they're fine. That's just evil in my books.

Zampano TL ⋅ January 15, 2024

(I actually didn't mean to post that. Prosebox had a glitch when I was posting and then I decided to just save it, but apparently prosebox posted it.)

For me personally. I grew up with the same nurture and managing my weight has always been present in my life. For me, I got into athletic groups who supported me and made the decision that athleticism had to be a constant in my life. I placed barriers between me and the lifestyle and beliefs that lead people into obesity. I built a fence between me and that. However, the obese portions of my family constantly break those barriers down and obesity floods into my life which I have to constantly mend. Ideas like, "We're on vacation. Do what ever you want. Eat however you want." Where my vacations include sweating and going to the local Yoga Studio. Or, the athletic room in my life is placed close to me somewhere in close proximity to my daily living, where they place the athletic room somewhere far away from Home Life.

I wake up and finding my athletic life becomes heavy and depressing. And I'm like, "Where did all those years of practice go? And it's like my athletic space is filled with goop where it once was filled with hope.

It's like my flow is manipulated in a direction I had already redirected years ago from flowing to the couch and tellie rather than flowing to the gym or hike or walk or yoga studio.

TL Zampano ⋅ January 15, 2024

What is this goop, exactly? Are you losing your passion for it? If so, do you think you may be projecting that a bit? Not to invalidate any concerns

Zampano TL ⋅ January 16, 2024

Chi basically or Feng Shui. Its just a matter of redirecting energy. I'm was just venting basically; or exploring the psychology of wellness. Its all good.

Zampano TL ⋅ January 16, 2024

I like your interpretation where it's just not the right Planetary cycle for my practice. That was helpful for my lack of patience when it comes to my practice. Wu Wei: The Art of Not Forcing and letting things happen.

TL Zampano ⋅ January 16, 2024

🙏Namaste 😎

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