Must...up...date... in New Beginnings

I wish I could write something noteworthy. That is, I wish my lack of writing were due to me being engrossed in something interesting. Sadly, such is not the case.

Honestly, I’ve just been lazy…and distracted. I wonder if building my own computer was for the best since it’s been cannibalizing my free time. Basically, I’ve just been playing games. I was introduced to Steam, an online PC game store, which has weekly sales, and I just couldn’t resist.

I guess I’m a gamer. I hate saying that because it’s such a stigma. I fear that identifying with that term (or being identified by it) paints a person as an incompetent man-child. Though, why other adults can play Candy Crush or Flappy Bird on their tablets without the same stigma is a mystery to me.

Reallly, I haven’t “gamed” in a while. I was a big video game nerd a child, but that stemmed largely from being isolated and my parents being the type to use Nintendo as a babysitter. Before my period of unemployment, I had a competent PC that I’d game on. It wasn’t very powerful, but it was competent for it’s time. I have some very fond memories of playing Capture the Flag while listening to Dawson McAllister on a free night. Even when I was unemployed, I had a laptop that I could use, but it died before my unemployment period ended.

I suppose this is the first time I’ve played PC games in several years; however, even when I was playing on my old PC or laptop, my games were kind of old by that time’s standards, so my recent foray into PC gaming was the first time I’ve experienced what a current generation of games is like in a decade. Obviously it was overwhelming. Not that I’ve been doing nothing but indulging my inner 13-year-old. When I’m not working, I still go to the gym four times a week, and I make it a point to have a leisure book to read at all times. I recently finished And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie as well as Jackie Chan’s autobiography. I’ve even started doing my CPE courses to keep my CPA license active. It’s just been so long since I’ve been able to have some real fun fun in my leisure time, to actually do things in my leisure time that I really, really wanted to do in order to recharge from my daily stresses. Once I got that opportunity, resisting temptation was practically impossible. A few weeks ago, I started playing Borderlands 2 at about 10 o’clock on Friday night. Before I knew it, it was 7:00 am and the sun was rising outside my window. I didn’t care though. I slept for about four hours that morning, then continued with my weekend as normal.

I feel like I’m making up for lost time, but simultaneously, I feel like I’m cheating myself. When I was a child and a teenager, I thought of video games as a place holder. Not that my mom and dad were particularly negligent, but they were busy with their careers, being providers, and it was less taxing on their time to give me a PlayStation than to let me play sports or practice some other activity. Also, my older brother was a super athlete, so Mom and Dad probably welcomed the reprieve of not having to go to any more games or practices.

Back on topic, even when I was a kid, I saw gaming as something that would hold me over until I was an independent adult who could do whatever he wanted. I wonder if the 12-year-old me saw me, would he chastise me for not doing the things he planned on doing at my age? He’d probably say something like, “You have money and freedom. Do stuff besides sit at home by yourself in your leisure time. Travel, meet people, take up interesting hobbies. For God’s sakes, get a girl friend to make out with. Well, immediately, he’d probably say, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! I’M GOING TO BE BALD!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!” Then, he’d say that other stuff.