back to that place in 2014

9:47pm

I wish I had something else to talk about. Life’s pretty just ok these days. I mean, it’s good. I’m enjoying it. But there isn’t a whole lot going on. Work’s only happening a couple days a week right now. We’re usually at the office more than that, but it’s all unofficial.

There’s a lot we have to get done before I leave on vacation. It’s that time of year where orders need to be placed, forms need to be filled out, and paperwork needs to be sent to the proper authorities. I’m going to need to make some to-do lists soon and come up with absolutely everything that should be finished before I go and/or while I’m gone. I need to stay on top of things this year.

I am super excited about the trip to Seattle though! I probably need a list for that too. Like all of the things that I want to do on this last trip. Maybe someday I’ll make it back there, but it certainly won’t be the twice a year deal I’ve got going on now. I’ll probably have to do that trip to Tx from now on. It’ll be nice to see Marie and her new little guy though. She’s been posting pictures of him and he looks so adorable that I just want to squeeze him to pieces. He’ll be at that nice age where he doesn’t seem all tiny and fragile but is still really little and cute. And hopefully we’ll be able to escape and do one last margarita trip and night at the bar and grill. I want to relive all the traditions that have come up over the last few years.

It’s going to be hard to let go of that place, that’s for sure!

Other than that, I’ve already mentioned to Ryan that I want to try to pick up some of this delicious beer I had the other day with CK. I think it would be kind of nice if I could grab a couple bottles and figure out how to pack them in my suitcase. I need to pay him back for sharing his last bottle.

Of course that would be a great excuse to get together with him again before he moves, so that’s motivation enough. I’m sorta at this point right now where I just want to see his face every day. I want to talk to him, and be his friend, and hear all the stories. Not that that’s anything new. It’s pretty much felt that way since we first met.

I was like this after all the office visits earlier this year so you should be able to imagine what I’m like now that I actually got to spend some time with him on my own. I want to learn how to play poker just so that he can invite me over to play with his friends. hah.

We haven’t really exchanged very many texts. There were a couple on Tuesday night and that’s all. I’m not reading into that [I swear!] but I don’t really know where that leaves us. A part of me wants to take advantage of any opportunity I might have to hang out with him right now and the other part is worried about getting all “attached” and then him leaving. It’s all so up in the air right now. I don’t even know what to think about the whole thing. Other than like wanting to be his friend. But everything reminds me of him or something he said that night. Simple things too. Stuff that wouldn’t normally trigger a second thought. It all has a story now and I feel like that annoying girl who keeps bringing him up. Everyone’s going to get the wrong impression.

We’ll see. I’m in a better place today. They [read: I] always say there’s beauty in the breakdown. That always seems to work out ok for me. I want to let things play themselves out. [Like I said so many months ago before I got all wrapped up in it] I need to be alright with it no matter where it goes.

I should start focusing on all the other things in life too. I get all caught up in these things sometimes that I forget that I’m supposed to be working on me and my life. I need to refocus on enjoying the little things. I need to sit outside and gather up this sunlight, even if we are still hitting the triple digits. There is so much out there every day that I take for granted and I need to get back to that place where I remember to enjoy every second of it.

rose.
11:18pm