A constant BOQ #18 Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I have found pessimism gets me nowhere. I would honestly rather get let down than live day to day expecting nothing. That's an empty life. That's a meaningless life. If you live scared of failure and scared of getting let down or backstabbed you are a zombie and might as well kill yourself. I had my time of feeling sorry for myself. I got nowhere. Your attitude dictates where your life takes you. And if your lonely? stop moping around complaining about life. Be a positive energy. Nobody wants to be around negative people. Attitudes are contagious and life is about communication.
Don't become a jaded prick.
Anyway today was odd. Only I could make a simple task difficult. I went to get taco stuff for Amanda and I got the wrong item like twice and dropped her ten dollar bill to save a lot. I got quite frustrated.
Amanda is very sick. So I hung out downstairs with her more than usual. Helped with the kids more than usual. I watched The Walking Dead from last night. Watched Sons of Anarchy which surprisingly I liked alooooooot. Her and Virgil have been watching it a lot. Its really really good. I'm gonna start from season one. Its on Netflix.
I ate red Robin with Rachel. I love me some Red Robin. It was nice. Then I obviously had tacos. I've been eating a lot of food. Which is good. I'm trying to add weight. I'm at 170. I wanna be around 190-200 by this time next year. Hopefully mostly in muscle.
I did extra working out today because I am off. My 400 push-ups are slowly becoming easier.
I get paid tomorrow. I have to pay for a lot of shit tomorrow. Not buying weed. I have rent, my phone bill, I am gonna eat out with Rachel to pay her back for today as I had promised. We do that a lot. I wanna buy protein bars every check. Help build some weight. Also I am gonna buy pizza with John get high and watch wolverine. So a mixture of needs and wants.
Tomorrow I'm getting paid. Hopefully heading to Wal-Mart depending on how Amanda is feeling. Work 1-9. Hang with Jenny and John. Head home.
Yeah.
Number 18
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality, what would it be?
I would choose the ability to have no fear. If that counts? NOT having something isn't really GAINING something but whatever.
I would choose to remove fear because it holds you back. Fear is the biggest lie. Who knows where I'd be if I wasn't scared. I would spend more time doing productive thinking rather than thinking about how scared I am and how badly it would be if I mess up.
I would just figure out how to be successful. Failure wouldn't cross my mind.
It makes sense to me.

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