Here we go again - over there years it seems like through this conquest this journey of finding and cultivating love I've been in this place a lot more than any other. I'm sure we've all a similar feeling - the "oh oh" feeling as some like to call it.
It's that feeling where you step back and say "is it worth it" because clearly we wouldn't struggle if we'd already found that special person? Dating for me is an exhausting process and here's why. I'm no mystery - I'm no hidden book of endless secrets and chapters of intrigue and mystery, I wont keep you on the edge of your chair wondering what time I'll come home, if I care, I wont make you sweat, there will be no anticipation or suspense when it comes to me and how I handle your heart. I will be spontaneous and creative with everyday, but with your heart I'll leave no room for questions or uncertainty. I believe that you should embark on adventures together, I don't believe finding out if someone cares should be an adventure. That's just a waste of precious energy and emotions you could be expanding into something worthwhile and meaningful
I've been on the reciprocating end too many times to put someone through that mess - but the irony of our generation is we want what we can't have. We want a challenge something we have to fight for. I think so many people in this day in age are just generally confused about what they want. And it's why we often see so many people just settle right out the gates...they'd rather cash in for something even if it's not what they really want... I wont lie sometime that ideology is tempting - and than I realize if I go down that path I squander the greatest gift of being human - my capacity to love. So many of us don't know what we want in the interim and we don't even understand who we are - so we pursue people we subconsciously know...it's just never going to work out with, it eliminates us having to face really finding someone of value who we could give our hearts too....People inherently will seek out other people we hate to be alone, it's statistically proven that human interaction/affection will increase longevity so its instinctual . I just think how it's so interesting people continually seek out people who they know deep down are unfit to be with, and will only cause pain down the road. I've been involved in so many attempts where once I reveal that I am safe I wont toy with your emotions, I wont play the "oh oh" game with your heart I become dismissed, I pose no challenge...And I'm okay with that, I don't want to pose a challenge in that regard, I just want to get to know you and base my opinion off of that... maybe we will just end up friends - I'm okay with that thus being said I will still continue to exercise the same respect, compassion and empathy. If I care about you yes, I will make it my job to treat you with 100 percent kindness, compassion, and respect I will ensure I am clear with my intentions.
I'm ranting... I which I could pose a clear direction for this entry I usually have a pretty solid central idea. Anyway I've got that feeling that all too familiar place and feeling where I like someone and I know what direction it's going down. The "I'm a great guy, attractive, smart, funny, etc, the guy you want to end up with" but.... there will always be a but.... I just laugh and roll my eyes at this point...I could start treating you more like crap if that would intrigue you? give me a bit of a little bad-ass edge... Lord knows us man are inhernently just dicks - it comes natural too us so I don't really have to try to hard if that's what you're looking for? You do realize this whole being really nice and an upstanding guy is a good thing for you? It means we like you we care and we probably wont cheat....
I'm ranting... But I'm in that place again and it's so frustrating, I just know it means I'm going after the wrong women because a mature woman would appreciate those redeeming qualities. Yet sometimes I wonder if this isn't the direction of our generation - maybe I'm just an old soul in believe in a way of things that no longer currently exist. I hate being in this place, especially when you know you didn't somehow just say, or do the right things to connect with a person you could really be happy with... I start getting a sense of that place and I just give up...Sucks really liked this one, isn't that the case always though...
One love
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