Back from my quick Christmas run to see my family and some friends. I’ll expound more on this later, but my most pressing issue right now is the health and well-being of my mom and dad.
I can’t say that they are suffering because they seem to be oblivious to so many things right now, but I will say that I don’t think they are in a position to take care of themselves very well anymore. They are doing okaaaay, but it’s only a matter of time before something drastic/tragic happens, and I feel like I’m the only one seeing this. And it scares me.
My brother and sister-in-law are clueless. And they live in the same house! They can’t even take care of themselves. And when I called a Difficult Conversation meeting over Christmas, my dad suggested that my SIL be their caretaker. They would pay her, of course, but they’d like for her to become their nursemaid.
I say, fuck no. She doesn’t even have the wherewithal to figure out how to reheat our Christmas dinner (we’d ordered a prepared feast, and it was great, but had to be re-heated). I had to do it, along with my dad. She’s an absolute slob. And she barely speaks English. How is she going to figure out how to administer their meds, let alone make sure they make it to their doc appointments? She is NEVER on time and is absolutely chaotic.
And I really need to delve into this further, but…I’ve decided that I really don’t like my niece at all. She is only eight years old, but eight-year-olds are not supposed to act like whiny infants, are they? This girl makes me cringe. The last thing I said to her before I left on Tuesday morning was, “Why do you make that noise?” I think she is just as autistic as her father, my brother.
My bro and his family live in their house for free. They have been given everything they need by my parents. And then they take advantage of the situation. They ignore the issue and pretend like Mom and Dad are doing fine. Well, what’s going to happen when (heaven forbid) my dad falls down or something and is in the hospital? My mother has NO CLUE what medications to take or even what they are for or when to take them? She can’t even make herself a sandwich. She’d crumble without my dad.
It makes me so freaking sad to write all of the above, but Mom and Dad are declining quickly and I just don’t want them to suffer. What is the right thing to do? I feel like, in the end, if I insist they go to assisted living or, heaven forbid, a nursing home at some point, I am going to be the hated one. But if we don’t do something, it’s going to be a tragic nightmare for us all.
Who has been in these shoes? How did you cope? What did you do??
GS
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