ready for a slow down in 2014

9:54pm

So I’m back home. After about 11 days on the road I am back in my own bed and trying to recharge from all the social interaction.

We actually got back yesterday morning around 6:30 after driving all night. I don’t know how Mom does it. I honestly couldn’t keep my eyes open no matter how hard I tried. It didn’t help that I was still on Central time and we were slowly gaining hours. I really wanted to be awake, you know in case she was falling asleep or something, but I couldn’t handle it. The sleep I did get was rough and interspersed with jolting awake and trying to force my eyes to focus on something other than the inside of my eyelids. We made it though.

See, we forgot [or didn’t take into account] that it was the 4th of July and everywhere would be sold out. We arrived in Laughlin like 10 mins before the fireworks started. Found a great parking space near the river and sat in the truck watching the show. It was amazing! Haven’t seen fireworks that fantastic in a while, and it lasted for ever.

After the show we went inside to use the bathroom and Mom played for a while. I was too tired to do much of anything but sit around. Too many people too. That was a bit overwhelming for my already overstimulated brain. We’d called a few of the hotels but they were all sold out. One place had a room for almost 400 dollars. And the other had a one bed, smoking room in one of the oldest hotels for $195. Uh…no thanks. I’d rather sleep in the truck in a rest area than pay that much for a couple hours of sleep. The lady even tried to justify it by saying that it was a “river view” because obviously you’re going to see a ton of the river at night while you’re sleeping! =\

So that’s why we started our day in Amarillo and ended the next morning back at home. We quickly unloaded most of the truck when we got here. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and crashed in bed for a few hours. We were both back up around noon though. Couldn’t sleep that much. I still feel like I’m running on a deficit.

There are a ton of things to tell you about my trip! I had a wonderful time. The more I travel the more I start to think that maybe someday, in the far off future, I could actually live somewhere other than my home. I completely enjoy the slow paced life of other states like Arkansas. Everyone always seems so kind and laid back. That’s like the total opposite of California.

But yeah. I’ll have to figure out everything I want to say. Maybe plan it out in some kind of timeline form. I still don’t think I’ve written about Seattle, but I only had about a week in between the two trips so don’t hold that against me. I really want to get all this stuff down because it’s always the big moments that miss out on their own entry. All the silly mundane regular life stuff is fine, but this should be written down somewhere too.

For now I am enjoying a nice glass of vodka and listening to music. I always miss my music when I’m gone. Although I did get to listen to a lot of country. :-) And I haven’t had a decent drink since my bottle and a half of wine I knocked back at the work convention. Very sad they didn’t have liquor this year. hah!

I should not be saying that about work conventions!

But yeah, I don’t think I had any more to drink the rest of the trip. Our friends out there aren’t big drinkers and I don’t want to come off as some kind of crazy lush. ha. Although I probably did come off that way anyways with the way I was eating. Man, vacations are perfect for pigging out.

Mostly I’m kidding though. I eat like that all the time I go out. But a vacation seems like a good excuse to do it. haha. I ended up eating like a 300lb man whenever we went out to eat [12 slices of pizza! several trips to the buffet! oh my!] I like to show off my impressive skills, what can I say?

I did gain back a few of the pounds I’d lost in the week before leaving, but not nearly as many as I was dreading. The only reason I semi-care about this is because I’ve got Lea’s bridal shower coming up on Saturday and I haven’t seen most of these girls since like high school. I kind of want to be better looking now than I was back then! I certainly feel better, so I hope that reflects in some way. I’ll probably still cut back on the junk this week though.

Speaking of cutting back: I haven’t talked to CK in a while. On purpose! I’m in the middle of an attempt to cut ties with him, but I’m not sure how it’s going.

I sent him a text during the bottle and a half night of wine [I can’t help myself when I’m that tipsy!!]
The conversation went on, slowly, for the next two days. And then I stopped responding.

We were sitting in this hotel room in Kansas when my uncle sent me a text at like 10:30 at night. I’ll admit that when my phone went off I had that flashing thought of maybe it was CK, but then I saw it was my uncle and oh well. I didn’t feel like responding so I put the phone back on the desk.

Within minutes I got another text. I thought to myself, “geez! what else does he want!” [I know. I’m such a people person] and I click the message only to see CK’s name pop up on the screen [he actually is listed as “CK” in my phone. hehe.]

He was responding to a text that I’d sent him the afternoon before. And it didn’t seem that important. He asked me about the weather. So I threw the phone down on the bed and thought about how this was the perfect moment to just let go.

I mean, it’s been two years. I don’t know if this was ever officially a crush, but he certainly occupied a majority of my brain space during this time. There were just so many moments that seemed like they’d never happened before. I thought they were some kind of signs, or something. But it’s been too long. He must not be interested in the way I thought he might be.

It’s going ok though. Our conversations have died out and then not picked up for weeks, or months, but I’ve never not responded to a question before. It’s always just been a statement that didn’t really need a response. So I feel like I’m doing better with this. I need to let go. It’s time to move on. I mean, I could be missing out on so many open doors because I’m sitting here staring at this one that’s only partially cracked.

It wouldn’t work anyways. This is for the best. And it’s been easier since I’ve been out of town and haven’t spent much time around here. Out of sight, out of mind. There shouldn’t be any run-ins for a while and if there are, well, I’ll just continue on like nothing’s changed. That’s the only way. I get better at it every day.

That’s all for tonight, I guess. I’ve got to go to bed and try to catch up on some of this missing sleep. We have deliveries at work tomorrow that I need to get up for and then more work later this week. Back to the grind!

rose.
10:34pm

Last updated September 01, 2014