It’s Christmastime. The weather’s getting cooler (at least at night it is), and I have no one to snuggle. I’m frustrated as hell and need to change that. So what if I’m a little chunky right now. There’s gotta be someone out there who would love me for the little-extra me that I am in this moment.
I’m clicking through Instagram and seeing everyone get dressed up in their sparkles and heels and zhuzhing themselves for their holiday parties. And tonight I sit at home in a cluttered mess, eating a boxed dinner from the prepared food section of the fancy grocery store and wondering where the fuck was the turning point in my life?
But I kinda know.
And I don’t want to have a victim mentality, so I refuse to really let myself go there. But the fact of the matter is that I simply wasn’t able to handle having a relationship AND be in life-threatening situations. I was focused on staying alive over trying to catch feelings.
But now I really feel like I NEED human touch and connection.
And yet…I’m grossed out by it too.
So where do I go from here? What do I do? Do I go back on the dating sites and have a bunch of dates? I suppose that would help me from feeling like I’m missing out, right?
Won’t somebody take me to their Christmas party??
GS
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