a dream atop a gallant horse in addressing the public

in dreams i suffer my own romances
time passes but it feels like time is a circle

i wept atop a gallant horse
a figure asked me why i cared
about the cowboy in the wind who broke my heart from the inside

“because i loved him” i choked out,
surprised by my own emotion
for awake i’m nothing if not steady
but something deep down bubbled over

(i didn’t think he deserved my love
and i was right
but in my mightiness, my wrongedness, and holier-than-thouness,
i never grieved that i gave it to him anyway.)

i wake up crying but feeling like something has been unlocked