Here's a little advice for you. Find your OWN man in Journey Back to ME

Bus driver guy hasn’t been seen or heard from since. Actually, Thursday and Friday of course he came to the school and dropped off his route, but because I’m back to my regularly scheduled programming, I just pay attention to the kiddos and not the buses anymore.

I did end up talking to my “friend”, T. I told her everything he said about how “your friend asked me if I’m single for you, and she didn’t tell you?” She fumbled on her words a bit. She said that it was the same day that he asked how old I was (last Monday). She never actually came out and told me what was said. She just said that she was super busy at the moment, had kids talking to her and she was trying to juggle her preschoolers who ride the bus all at once. I call BULLSHIT. For 1) he doesn’t have preschool kids on his bus, and she wasn’t wrangling them up at that time. 2) You just don’t forget to tell someone who is interested in someone that the person their interested in is in some type of situationship. Had she shared that information with me, I never would have gone to his bus after school THAT DAY and introduced myself. Anyway, and then she goes, “You know what this means? Him and that girl must’ve worked things out!”…NO, I don’t know what this means because I didn’t know there was a GIRL that he would be working things out with. She also pointed out that now that I explained that he had ghosted me, it made since because he had been treating her differently as well. She said he normally laughs and jokes with her, and his demeanor had changed. A student forgot their glasses on his bus and instead of giving it to her like he should have, he gave them to a student to give to her.

The more I sat and thought about how I was treated, the more it didn’t sit well with me. Men who GHOST women have no sense of accountability for their actions and how they treat women. I didn’t deserve that. I’ve experienced this one too many times, and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t give him a piece of my mind, so I decided to send one last text:

Against my better judgement I’m going to say this. You do realize that I am the only one in this situation that doesn’t know what’s going on, right? If you’re in a “situation”, I wasn’t aware. I couldn’t ask for clarity on something that I wasn’t made aware of. This is just me, but when someone is wanting to get to know me and gives me their number and asks to take me out, my assumption is that they’re physically and emotionally available to do so. Now, if you thought my friend let me know, then that is on you and her. Maybe I’m different, but I definitely would have let my friend know. However, she did not. Now here we are. either way, from the short few days that we talked, you were nothing short of a complete gentleman to me. I misjudged your character because even not fully knowing you, I wouldn’t take you as the type to put energy into someone just to ghost them. I’m not too much older than you, so I’m not going to preach to you, but I will say this…our actions have the ability to AFFECT other people. If I wasn’t 100% confident in who I am as a woman, this could have really fucked me up.

While I’m sure that my text did not matter nor did it make a difference to this man, I’m hoping that just maybe it put a face and a voice to all of the women he may ever try this on again. Hopefully he’ll think twice before leaving his skid mark on a good woman. I was only affected very little, and for that I am grateful, but it did remind me why I am not out here LOOKING in the first place. This is the spectacle that dating has become. It’s selfish, self-absorbed, it’s deceit and pure and total chaos. I’d rather be alone and happy.

I hope that every day that he pulls up into the school parking lot and has to see me that his stomach churns of anxiety and embarrassment. That he cowers his head in shame in order to avoid eye contact for the rest of the school year. That he chooses to suffer and hold his pee instead of using our school facilities all in lieu of steering clear of the mess he’s made. I hope whoever SHE is finds the person that is truly meant for HER and that she lives happily ever after with that person because HE is not it.

Last updated September 24, 2023