Another One Bites The Dust in Journey Back to ME

The dating pool is more like swamp water.

It took this one ALL OF 5 DAYS to disappear and go GHOST. So over the weekend I really talked myself up. I made a plan to introduce myself to the bus driver guy.

Monday morning comes, and I stood in between the door into the building and the area where the buses drop off. When his bus approached, I waved and he waved back. After he drove off, my friend (T) that works the buses came up to me and told me that he asked how old I was. She told me she asked him how old he was, and that he said 32. She said something along the lines of “oh you’re a baby!” and he made a comment along the lines of “tell her I’m ALL man”. That point in the flirtation, I had made it up in my mind that I would introduce myself after school. During the school day, I approached someone I work with that I somewhat trust (R), and asked her about the buses. I asked how the process works, and how they park after school. She told me that they’re already outside and parked before school gets out. This was the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY! After school comes, I go to the cafeteria where the door is that leads out to where the busses are. My friend (T) that works buses sees me and immediately tells me “he’s the first bus outside”, so I confidently go right out. I approach his bus. I said something dumb like “knock knock” and he looked up and I said something like “I just wanted to come and introduce myself, my name is …”. I got onto the bus and reached out my hand to shake his. We talked very briefly, and told him that I just wanted to come and say “hi”. He told me I should take his number down and get to know him!!!! I just about creamed my panties and he was so so so so so so handsome up close. I text him immediately so that he would have my number. He responded rather quickly and let me know that he can’t text and drive while on the bus and that it would be later that he would be reaching out to me and that he was happy to finally meet me.

BLAH BLAH BLAH. We started texting. I learned that he’s in school right now for his Business degree amongst other things…we hit it off very well, and the conversation was genuine. There was no mention of anything sexual, no badgering for pictures…nothing more than going back and forth getting to know one another…I go to bed with a good night text, and a “I’ll text you in the morning”

Tuesday morning I wake up to a “good morning” text, and later on a wave when I saw him at the school dropping off the kids. There were consistent text responses throughout the day. A consistent flow of getting to know each other (including letting him know that I am a mother of 2). When he’s not driving his 3 routes in the morning/afternoon, he’s studying for school. I told him that I completely understood a busy man trying to better himself. Eventually the conversation got to him asking me out on a date for this weekend to the movies. I agreed immediately, and I was SO happy that I went in search of my friend (R) that told me about how the buses line up after school (not the one that is the go between me and the buses), Anyway, as I’m talking to her another coworker (G) that was tagging along with her could somewhat overhear me. The girl goes, “I know the guy you’re talking about. T sent me a picture of him.” It caught me off guard because I assumed T took the picture for me (see previous entry) because I like the guy, so why would she be sending his picture to multiple people. She’s married for goodness sake! If she was going to be talking to someone about how attractive he was, I thought it was just me. She even pulled up the photo of him on her phone to show R whom I was talking about. I decided at that point that I wasn’t going to talk to anyone else about it. I usually don’t and was upset with myself for doing so now, but it didn’t matter because he had asked ME on a date! He and I continued talking throughout the day when he had time. After school I didn’t go to his bus because I didn’t want to come across as pushy or territorial or like he was my boyfriend as we only just started getting to know one another. He didn’t have class in the evening last night, so he had a little bit more time to talk to me. We continued getting to know each other, and I even felt bold enough to ask had he been looking for me to come to his bus after school. He said he wouldn’t have minded it. I pointed out that since he’s so busy, that’s the only time we can actually see each other in person and converse. Eventually he sent a “Good night, I’ll text you in the morning” message.

Wednesday (TODAY), it was the same thing. I woke up to a “good morning. I’ll see you when I come to the school” message. I saw him this morning, he waved…I waved. After he was done with his morning routes, he was able to text me. We were talking about places he’d like to travel, and I had asked if he would ever go to NYC for New Year’s. The next question he asked me was this, “Why have you never asked if I have a girl or for clarification on my ‘it’s complicated’ situation?” This caught me completely off guard because I didn’t know what he was talking about. I’m 34 years old....why would I think you have a girlfriend or a “situation”, if you’re the one having my friend T send messages back and forth to me. He’s the one that gave me HIS number, and he’s the one that asked ME on a date. I had no reason to believe that these other things were anything to worry about as he was the one doing the pursuing. All I did was WAVE and INTRODUCE MYSELF. I never, so much as told T to tell him anything. He was sending messages inside to ME. So my response was “Do you have a complicated situation? Or a girl? Let’s start there and then I’ll answer”…his response was “T asked for you, and she didn’t tell you” I said, “No she didn’t, so tell me”....

I WAS FUMING! Because now I’m confused…if he’s got a situation why is he even bothering with me. Had I known, I’d have minded my own business, acknowledged he was cute and gone about my business with fantasies in my head about him from time to time. ALSO I was fuming because just when I was considering T a friend…what does he mean she asked him for me, so I sent an additional message to him “Just for clarification, I never asked T to ask you if you were single. If she did ask, it was because she was being nosey. It wasn’t for me.” I went based off of his pursuing me. I took that as a sign of being single. So now I’m confused because why didn’t she tell me? And then I start thinking about the girl (G) the day before having the guys picture in her phone that T sent to both of us apparently. I have so many questions…

He literally has never responded back to me after that. All of the texts stopped abruptly. He had gotten home at a similar time both Monday and Tuesday, and text me when he got home. He didn’t today. I haven’t so much as had a “hello”.

I do have T’s number. I could chuck it up as a potential friendship loss…just when I was letting my guard down to befriend someone. I mean, I can confront her, but for what? A guy I’ve only really been talking to for 2 days. Both of them can go back to the trash where they belong. She’s trash for even lusting after this man when she has a HUSBAND let alone the fact that she set me up for some reason. And he’s trash for even pursuing me while having a “complicated” situation. I don’t want any parts of that. Him being “attractive” does not give him a free pass. However, if she told him that she was asking on behalf of myself if he was single then shame on HER for that. For not telling me the truth, so that I could make my own sound decision. Could have saved me this unnecessary drama. I’m finally in a good space, and the devil immediately shows up at my doorsteps with a TEST.

Last updated September 20, 2023