I am not sure if I feel any better better yesterday. It’s so hard to be happy when everytime you look around and see that everything is the same and nothing has been done. Even if I do everything I can there is still the stuff that I can’t fix and I still have to look at it or smell it. Once upon a time there was a minute and a half that I didn’t care but that has dwindled away and the smell is now what gets me. But as they say you get use to it and then that is when you get really sick. I think I am on my way to becomming more sick then I already am. I wonder how much sicker I can get? I will just have to wait.
Even when I do one of my favorite past times....shopping on line I am not really that happy any more like I was before. Now it’s because I need things so that is why I do it.
I just want a world where I can just be happy like everyone else and go about what I do without any set backs. And everyone treated everyone just like they want to be treated and respected. Why is it I have to repsect everyone and no one ever respects me? They call me every name in the book and then just disappear and when I do reach out to them they just ignore me because they think I have no idea what I am talking about? So now I am left with others to do the talking for me but then I have to wait till they have the time. And even then they don’t think it’s such a big deal.
Why is it when some think it’s not as a big deal but the other one thinks it is? How bad does something have to get before it’s not fixable and has to be replaced? Why is it that people are so stupid that they can’t see into the future? I am guessing I am the only one that sees that and I also see outsidr of the box. And in the end I am the one who has been right all along. I hate that feeling of I told you so.
The other thing that really bothers me is that others say “then why am I not sick like you?” I should be having issues also because of my medicle issues but I don’t” and I tell them you are different then I am and things don’t affect you the sameway they affect me. And they still don’t understand it. And I can’t explain it to them either because I am different. And they won’t even look up the resons why things effect me the way they do. So I am left alone to suffer and wonder if I will ever get better or is what I have going to last the rest of my life?
All I can do is wait and see.
Onto something else....
Well dinner tonight is going to be steak, corn on the cob and French Fries something nice and easy.
And I am not sure what domestic work I will do but it will be something.
I need to stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.
Last updated September 02, 2023