She wants the past in Well this is life

She keeps saying she wants who I used to be, but that person is no more. She keeps saying how she wants me to act how I did when we first got together but that was 10 years ago. I’ve changed and my mental state is no where near that place, it’s been depressed beyond belief since a couple of years ago when I was going to kill myself. I try to mask and seem happy and act how she wants but in the end of the day that’s all it is an act.