Get it Together. in These Foolish Things

I don’t know what to write half the time because I feel like my whole life is on HOLD, but it’s actually not. I’ve just been struggling a bit lately and feeling lost. I need to get my life back on track. I know that this is a phase, but I just hate it here and I am sad that I was in a similar place last year. And in a TERRIBLE place the year before. And in a HORRIBLE place the year before that. Again, it’s a phase - and maybe even a test. But I have to get myself out of this space.

I am grateful, though, for the opportunity to talk with people I haven’t talked with in a good, long while. I’ve been networking. I’ve been talking with people from my past and getting suggestions on other people to reach out to. This is clearly how I will find my next big gig. I’ve talked with so many of my former colleagues, friends and work connections over the last couple of weeks. Some of it has been fun; some of it has been tedious. But all of it will eventually help me get into my next role.

I miss writing. I feel like I don’t have much to say, but I think I still do. I owe you two RADs that are slowly fading from my memory, ha! I do remember one of them quite well, but the other…I don’t know if I remember! Oh wait…yes I do…that guy was kinda stalking me. Maybe I’ll get the stories out tomorrow.

I feel like I have ADHD. I can’t seem to quite get things done lately. I am hopping from one thought to the next and from this entry to LinkedIn to my email to messages to a company website to Bumble and on and on it goes.

I’m still anxious when I wake up in the morning. And anxious a lot of the day. I have at least one glass of wine every day to keep my nerves from getting out of control. And the thing is, I know I’m going to get back on track - why is it that I’m so crazy worried?

I miss my schedule. I miss getting up insanely early to workout and then get ready for work and take the dog out and go to an office. Do my stuff and then take a walk at lunchtime and get out of the office and do my evening routine and either go out or stay in and get up and do it all over again. And I miss planning vacations (or even WORK trips) - something I really haven’t done since before the pandemic.

I feel like I’m just a breakthrough away from getting my mojo back. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life. You’d think at 55 I’d have this shit figured out, ya know? But I guess life is just a series of getting it together, losing it a bit, then getting it back together. Right?

Things I need to write about soon:
- RAD: The Lion King
- RAD: The Pole Dancer
- My friend C. and his businesses and visiting his mom in a nursing home
- My visit to my own mom and dad last week
- All of these networking calls and who I’ve spoken with
- Recruiters keep contacting me about working with The Cutie Pie Company…what?!
- Best Bud’s son coming to University here in [my city]
- Thoughts on my dog walks
- Rewatching all of the Sex and the City episodes and feeling so nostalgic

Love you,
GS