What Do You Think? in Me Being Me

Revised: 08/08/2023 3:31 p.m.

  • Aug. 8, 2023, 8 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I need to know if you think I should have a sit down with the slumlord and try to have the kind of relationship we had when I first moved in here? I would tell her that the relationship is the way it is because she doesn’t listen to me when I tell her where the fixing problem is and she spend sometimes hours looking for the problem, Like I told her there is a tempature problem with the dryer and all she did was cut the hose that goes outside and took out the flap in the hose so now it is just space and debries can get into the dryer and maybe excess water. And I would also tell her she can’t threaten to evict me because she doesn’t like my behaviour. My behaviour is because of the way she says “NO” to me and not fix things. I also want to tell her she has to have the same respect for me as I have for her like not walking in just because the door is opened. I don’t walk into her home and besides that is against the law. And even if it’s her house she has no right to just walk in. And I want to tell her that I am now sick because of the stress she has put on me and I think I have IBS and I get frequent headaches that last all day and sometimes days. So far this month (August) I have had 4 days of headaches and I even had a headach on my birthday.
I also want to tell her that it doesn’t matter if she thinks that the crack in the cement in my laundry room isn’t a big deal but it’s more then 0.03 mm (0.001181102 inches) The last time I measured the crack it was 5’ by 10 feet going in two directions side ways and long ways and it’s only getting wider and longer. And the mold needs to be fixed for good she can’t leave it anymore because the smell is always musty and I start to feel not good and I think my headaches start the next day or later that day and I often wake up with headaches because there is also mold under the wooden floor in the hall way and it looks like it’s getting more black and there is also some light brown spots. And the sink in the kitchen was l;eaking but seems to have stopped but still I want it fixed so it doesn’t happen. And now that it doesn’t leak she won’t fix it. And my toilet seat has stripped screws and she hasn’t fixed that either.
I just want to know the real reason why she won’t fix things and I know it’s not because of the lack of money because she gets $1400.00 a month and I know she akways has some left over after all of her bills are paid. But the thing I don’t think she realizes is that I can report her and win and she will be forced to fix things plus compasate me and never be able to rent to anyone again.
I am not one of those renters that complain that a light bulb is burnt out I only want the important things fixed and brought up to code.
And I also want to tell her that just because she is afraid of fire doesn’t mean that I can’t have a space heater or my candles lit.
And she says the electricity is more than what she can afford and it’s because she won’t keep the heat at a tempature that we are comfortable here and I had to buy all these things that use electricty and although it might not be much but the cost of using them does make the electricty go up. And the last thing I want is a rental agreement that stipulates what is allowed here and not allowed andwhat I am responsible for fixing. And I also want the carbon tax I have to pay because she doesn’t manage her money very well and any other things she wants us to pay for. I have no issue helping her pay the bills but she can only ask for what the law says and that is 2% a year plus rent hikes which she doesn’t do.
So do you think I should have a sit down with her and also offer tea or coffee while she is here? Or should I just let hubby deal with her? The one thing that I haven’t done is tell her as soon as something needs to be fixed. And because hubby is telling her it has to wait till he has a weekend to tell her and sometimes that is more then a month because he wants to make sure that it’s a real issue and really needs to be fixed. I would prefer as soon as I see something needs fixing to just tell her and get it fixed or have her tell me no.
Actually she did ask me what I would do if everything did get fixed and I had nothing to complain about? I didn’t really answer her but I would be a lot happier and actually call this place a “home” and not a place where I just pay rent and have no rights. But I just want to have a nice place I can call home and not be sick and stressed everyday and depressed.
So what do you think I should do?

Onto something else..

As far as today is going to go I am just going to try to get the cleaning I was going to do the other day and change the beds and for dinner it’s going to be airfryer porkchops. And fresh vegetables of some sort.

I need to stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe, and Behave.

Last updated August 08, 2023

raeven August 08, 2023

I would recommend therapy for you instead of trying to communicate with her. I don't think she'll ever listen or act the way she should, and unless you are going to move out, you need to figure out if how to deal with it.

Jodie raeven ⋅ August 08, 2023

I would go to therapy except I can not affor to go or I would. And eventually I will be moving. We will be starting to look for more affordable places to live. Thanks for your imput, much appreceated.

Wit' or witout August 08, 2023

I wouldn’t have a sit down because it seems both of you are at an impasse and I cannot see a resolution at this point. In my opinion it is best to let your husband deal with her.

Jodie Wit' or witout ⋅ August 08, 2023

I am starting to realize that but then it would be just so much easier because she would know about the things that need to be fixed and maybe they won't get any worse?

Beret August 08, 2023

Why bother? Do you honestly think things will change? One of you, or perhaps both of you, have changed. A lot. Save yourself some aggravation and not do it.

Jodie Beret ⋅ August 08, 2023

What I am hoping to get out of this is that she will see what she has done to my well being and the whys of my behavior because what she is doing is against the law and I think I need to tell her that she is making me sick and that there is concequences for what she is doing. And maybe in the end we can compermise on everything?

Beret Jodie ⋅ August 08, 2023

Somehow I doubt it from everything you have written.

Jodie Beret ⋅ August 08, 2023

well there is always hope and I have neevr met anyone ho isn't willing to at least try? I am willing.

Anaiss August 09, 2023

It seems like you asked for opinions on whether you should try talking to your landlady or not, but you aren't really swayed by the people suggesting you not try to talk to her, so you're going to do what you want regardless. I agree with everyone that it would be a waste of time to try talking to her and that you should just make peace with the way things are, and move when you can.

Jodie Anaiss ⋅ August 09, 2023

I haven't made any decions and I am just eaiting. But I most likly won't say anything and I can pretend to be nice.

theKat August 09, 2023

sometimes a relationship means more to one person than the other... I think she will not change how she feels... (hugs)

Jodie theKat ⋅ August 09, 2023

I always think that there is no harm in trying but the way she is I probally won't say much to her.

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