Sexless Summer in Journey Back to ME

Blah blah blah. Use a toy. Okay. I’ve done that. SEVERAL TIMES.

What’s annoying is that I never seem to have a lack of prospects. Just a bunch of flakes who can’t seem to put those thoughts into actions.

The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am.

STORY TIME…

I reached out to someone in my past. He worked as a teacher at a high school that I used to work at. I left on maternity leave, came back and he was gone. A year later I saw him at the grocery store, and that night I received an email from him via my work email…and then we exchanged numbers and “talked” for a while. He literally went out of his way to get into touch with me, we started “talking” and then things started to go NOWHERE. He was flakey and avoidant and confrontational. I eventually cut him off. He tried to reach out to me a few times. Once in late 2020 to apologize and say that he was in a bad place at the time but had done the work to heal and was ready to try to work things out. I ignored him because by then I had packed up and moved to a different city and was in a happy relationship. In late 2021 he reached out to ask me if I was still working at that same school, and I replied with “no”, and that was the last time we talked.

Anyway, so last weekend I was going to see my mom for the weekend. I decided to scroll through 2 years worth of texts to try to find this guys number. I was hoping he still lived in town, and that we could meet up, catch up and just rekindle a FRIENDSHIP. To my surprise, he answered quickly and excitedly. He still had my number saved and knew exactly who I was. Anyway, he no longer lives in the town where my mom lives, but he lives in Kansas City (a little over an hour away). We started talking and getting caught up. I told him that I was in town, and he asked why it took me so long to tell him that because he would have already been on his way. I ALWAYS FALL FOR THIS FALSE ENTHUSIASM! EXCUSE ME WHILE I BARF AT THE MEMORY OF THIS CONVO. Anyway there was a big storm last weekend, so it was probably good that he hadn’t been on his way to come and see me. So we planned for the next day. We sent each other recent pictures. He’s as handsome as ever, and he complimented me as well. Although I did remind him that it is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY under any circumstances to comment on a womans weight. Even if you think that telling her you noticed she lost weight would score you some points. Even if you think making comments complimenting her more voluptuous body would woo her. Just DON’T.

Okay we were going pretty strong with the conversation. He even opted to talk via the phone. We both fumbled and stumbled on our words and statements awkwardly. This was always something I enjoyed about him because we were alike in that way. The next morning, our text conversations continued. Somehow the conversation slightly veered toward sex. There was some flirtatious banter back and forth. I told him afternoon/late afternoon could work for a meet up. He said evening would work better for him, so I agreed. As the hours got closer and I asked for clarification of his plans it became evident we were not going to meet up. His reasoning was that he could not find a hotel room nearby to rent. This room was for the sole purpose of him sleeping over in town because he needed to drive nearby to get his son (about 45 minutes away), and this would have been easier than him turning around to drive back to KC at night and then in the morning turning around to drive back that way again to get his son.

Do I believe him? Sure. Whatever. The worst part though is Sunday when he drove THROUGH town where I was and sent me a text saying “I’m driving through right now”....how much effort would it have took to actually stop and see me for a moment. GEESH! He said “I’ll drive the 3 hours to where you live”. However, I reminded him that I have no childcare where I live. No babysitter on a weekend or an evening he would have free. When I’m at my moms that is the ONLY time that I have that type of free time. We’ve only gone to my moms TWICE this entire Summer…that tells you how often I’m NOT there.

Anyway, I wouldn’t say I was DISAPPOINTED, but it would have been nice for someone to just give a fuck for once. And for one glimpse of a second I thought I was going to be taken out of my dry spell…but the clock struck midnight, and my carriage was back to being a pumpkin.

He’s been sending “good morning”/ “hi, how are you?” texts ever since and it annoys the shit out of me.

In other news, I sent my not-so FWB a screenshot from a tv show I was watching the other day. It was a scene where the main character was blind folded, with her lovers hand on her breast and his face between her legs, and I said “SIGN ME UP!”. To which he responded “LOL”…and we didn’t talk again for the rest of the day.