Weird. Don't Be Weird. in These Foolish Things
- July 15, 2023, 6:10 p.m.
- |
- Public
It’s Saturday. I took a good long walk this morning while it was cooler than 106 degrees out and came home and attended a networking Zoom call with some interesting folks. These people are friends of my new friend, C. and they are super-connectors in the tech world. It’s a shame that I’m not in the tech world, but I’m hoping that somewhere, somehow these connections that I’m making will become a part of my next chapter.
Every day I feel the anxiety creep in, and when that happens, I know I need movement. Physical exercise helps.
Today I did a 30-minute low impact aerobic video while I listened to a combined meditation/ life lesson type podcast and I cried a little while working up a sweat at the same time. It felt good to get that energy out.
Yesterday I met up with a guy I’d met in my [Old City] who came to town for a fun weekend away from his two kids and to hang with some of his friends. He decided to stay somewhere fairly close to me instead of staying with his friend because the friend apparently has loud kids and he wanted some peace and quiet. Totally understand this!
The weird thing is, he wanted to hang with me instead of his buddy last evening/happy hour, which…fine. I’m happy that I have some happy hour time, right?
But he has a weird relationship with his wife and I never had been able to figure it out because it seems like she’s not in his or his children’s lives much. And while we were hanging out in the area close to my place, I asked him about the situation [side note: it was not a flirtatious situation at all - we are just friends who met a couple of years ago and remained IG followers of each other, sending DMs here and there].
He was totally open about the situation with his wife - told me that he thinks she’s gay since she goes away and stays with a female friend a lot. And in the end he told me that they just have this unspoken agreement.
Okay, all good, right? I told him…hey, if you’re fine with all of that and she’s fine with it too, then you guys keep doing what you’re doing!
But he then got really quiet and told me that he felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. He told me that he’d never told anyone what he just told me and now he felt weird.
So then I felt weird for making him feel weird. And the whole thing got super weird!
So that was the end of my evening. Bye, guy. Not even sure if we’re friends anymore!
WEIRD!
I’m going to a party tonight that my friend C. is hosting along with a couple of woman friends of his. Not sure what to expect, but I guess I’ll grab a bottle of bubbly and head over there in a few.
I’m happy that I have places to go and people to see, but I can’t help but still feel unsettled in all of this. What if I try to just relax and enjoy my time with new people and chill out? In fact, what if I meet someone there who might be a great connection?
Must. Relax. A little. And not be WEIRD!
xo,
GS
Nash ⋅ July 15, 2023
Weird? If the dude in fact ended your friendship after volunteering information he is more a jerk than weird.
Lux Lunae ⋅ July 15, 2023
The tech world has some jobs that would work for you. Product managers do what you were doing but with a technical asset. It has a lot of parallels and your skills set is easily transferrable.
Complicated Disaster ⋅ July 17, 2023
I feel like they need to move from "unspoken agreement" to "spoken agreement". Then he might feel a bit less weird! xx
Ginger Snap Complicated Disaster ⋅ July 17, 2023
They DO!!!
sudare ⋅ July 17, 2023
You are so sociable. You must meet twenty times as many as people I meet.
Ginger Snap sudare ⋅ July 17, 2023
Haha! I don't know. I have just been quite lonely lately - especially with my job being so weird and moving to a new place. I felt I needed some other humans in my life. I push myself to meet people. I don't want to be as alone as I have made myself the last few years.
pandora ⋅ July 19, 2023
That really is weird.
Fawkes Gal ⋅ July 21, 2023
"I shared with you and now I feel uncomfortable and don't want to hang out anymore," is such an emotionally damaged straight guy thing to say.
Serin ⋅ July 26, 2023
Give him some time to feel the feels. Sometimes it's hard to feel so unexpectedly exposed and you need a moment to process it.
(Unless you're done. He didn't handle himself great in that situation)
sourapple ⋅ July 27, 2023
Oh wow, what an awkward position to be in. I wonder if he had ever articulated to himself that he suspected she's gay? Like maybe it's something he had acknowledged at some level, but never consciously accepted? I hope the friendship develops (or devolves) in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable. You have so much on your plate as it is!