#302-Slightly better today in Magician Card

I did a lot this morning, and now I think a major part of my depression seems to be the fact that I get tired at the end of the day. It leads to negative thoughts and confusion for me sometimes. I’m jealous of the friend who had a baby. I’ve had two miscarriages and one of them was very late-term. I’ve been feeling it a little. Jealousy, sadness, grief. A whole host of emotions that sometimes feel slightly overwhelming.

I realize eventually my time will come. Eventually. For now I want to spend it with my partner and I want to work towards my dreams because I’m oh so very close to those. Still, I realize it’s okay to feel this way. There’s nothing wrong with it. It hurts. I’m feeling it a bit right now as well. I just want everything to feel better. I cried a lot the first day.