Kumbi [Friends Only Entry] Monday, March 29, 2004
Tonight I will talk about only people I know with "funny" names...
I went to the bar on Saturday. I saw a blast from the past. The name on my diary is Albanian. I learned some Albanian when I was seeing this man named Admir. I saw him at the bar. He talked breifly and exchanged numbers. I asked about Sabit and he is doing good too. In some strange way.. it was nice seeing him again.
I saw Kumbi too. Him and I had a dance compition against my sister and her b/f. All four of us were so drunk no one really won. Kumbi took me aside and all of a sudden hugged me. He then looked me in the eyes and said, "I miss you." It was really nice. I told him I missed him too, which I really did. I miss the times him and I got along. I mean, when we really laughed together and held each other and it felt real. I mean, even if it wasn't real, at least I got to feel like it was. He told me he had to go cuz Comfort and everyone were waiting for him so we said our goodbyes and he promised to call me soon. Later, I went up to the bar and saw him kissing this other girl. So I quietly stood next to them with my arms folded grinning at him. I was not leaving that spot until he knew I had seen him. When he looked up he nearly tripped over himself. His eyes got huge and he didn't know what to do. He tried to stop kissing the girl but she wasn't having that. He tried to walk away from her but she kept holding him back. He reached out for my hand and I simply turned around and began to walk away. He grabbed my hand and I shook his hand free from me and I just kept walking and I never looked back. And I never will.
I just hope he doesn't think it was jealousy I was feeling. At first it actually was. But the longer I stood there watching him I thought of his wife Crystal. At that point it wasn't jealousy anymore... it was relief.
Other than that, the night was ok. I just wish that someone would notice me. I wish I could meet someone that would take interest in me. I mean, it's not that I don't get asked out... I just want someone that I am interested in too. I am scared that I am going to miss out on having children. Love and children are the two things I have always dreamed about. I need them to have a satisfying life... if I don't get them... I will feel that something is missing.
Anyway... I am off.
Her
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