My Time is Getting Closer [Friends Only Entry] Monday, March 22, 2004
So this new guy... is... well... way too much like me. Here's just a few things we have in common...
He has an online dairy.
He wanted to be a teacher... then a phyiciatrist... then a cop. (if that isn't freaky enough for you then I don't know what is. Not only is it the same professions I wanted... it's in the same order)
He's a night person.
He talks online as often as I do.
He drinks diet pepsi.
He has a digital camera and likes to take pictures as much as me.
He loves to travel and see the touriest stuff.
Anyway... enough about him. Tomorrow is one of my 11 hour days. Sometimes I wish I could just blow the money I make from my second job... just so I could live comfortably. However, if I do that I won't get to go on vacation... and if I can't go on vacation that means I have wasted a year of travel. I have to see the world. There is just so much to see.. I can't just waste it... However, I want to be able to buy the stuff I want too. Man, I wish I could just pay my last credit card off... and get rid of a few other bills.
Anyway... I have to sleep soon, so I guess I will go clean up my hamberger helper mess so I can get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a long day.
Oh... and I have lost 5 pounds since I let go of Keith. (I know I said I wouldn't mention him) I am just feeling alive again. It's like my stress has gone down and laughing is becoming easier. Like when Andrew was over on Saturday night. Him and I laughed all night and I felt like I had a friend over that wanted to be there. I didn't have to sit and wait to see if he'd show up. I didn't cancel any plans just to have him not show up. As a matter of fact I told him if it was too late to come over and he was tired we could do it another night... and he said, "A chance to hang out with Shannon, I can't give up that chance." Now if he ever calls me beautiful, I'll finally be able to hold my head up again.
Ever since Keith called me "heady" my self-esteem has been in the gutter. I knew what he meant and damn it hurt. It's been since I was 18 since someone had the guts to say that too me... or maybe immaturity it was. I don't know... I could never say to him, you know Keith... you are kind of gutty. It's just not me. I am not into hurting people. I thank God every night that he gave me parents that raised me right. If there is anything your parents can give you that will never go out of style, it's manners.
Love you, Life.
Her
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hey! I read a couple of your entries. good diary. good luck with Andrew.
heart divided
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