Monday in Just me

  • May 22, 2023, 7:17 p.m.
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Not a great day today, don’t feel great, forgot something for Daddy😞 and of course shark week would have to come.. of all days. i paid a few overdue bills and went through some more papers.. just got me feeling worse.. i feel like im in a fog with an achy head and can’t escape it. Daddy is right, i do need to do more things for me. my thinking is that i can’t do fun things until all of it is done. i was raised that way, it has been pounded into my head. But, i don’t think it’s true anymore. idk. i feel like i don’t have many true friends left, maybe 2 or 3, but still ones that i can’t really tell everything to. i miss that.. The kids cleaned up the backyard quite a bit, im grateful for that. They have been great, they know when i get sad and ask.. what was it this time? LOL i usually tell them, but not if it’s about Daddy, not sure how they would respond.. i just came in from outside, i used the sprayer hose and watered the front lawn and the side, including the 2 rose bushes.. i still get upset for when they took out my yellow rose when they fixed a pipe.. yeah i know.. let it go.. i should buy another and put it there.. anyways.. i have been watching a show called “A Million Little Things” probably not the best one to be watching.. its really emotional.. i will probably find a movie to watch and just do nothing for the rest of today, i just feel exhausted and like idk… just taking up space. This probably doesn’t even make a lot of sense.. my brain is so scattered..

blackpropaganda May 23, 2023

Rather than try to do everything you should do some of things necessary - and then have a reward - what would be a fun thing you would like to do? Then you might feel more motivated. It must be so difficult not having anyone really to confide in. It is has been great for me to have a friend I walk with who knows about my problems and can offer a sympathetic ear without judgement.

This is my life blackpropaganda ⋅ May 24, 2023

Thank You.. im happy for You that You have someone like that. That is a great idea.. i used to draw, read, and play switch, but i haven't done that in quite a while. Sometimes, i feel like im wasting time doing those things when there are so many other things to do.. i will work on it.

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