Wednesday - 30.07.14 in Your Face

I think I forgot to mention that my psychopathic step-mother surfaced again yesterday. I hadn't had any calls or texts since May, when I had sent it all on to my father, and she had blocked me on Facebook, so I figured it was over. Nope. She sent me a message on Facebook, and I had had enough.

(Another reminder: English is her second language, so please refrain from making any negative comments about her errors etc.)

•
10:02am HER what comes around, goes around.Kama will sort you all out. •
10:04am ME Please leave me alone. I have done nothing against you, I only wish you happiness. It is up to you whether you believe that or not. •
10:06am HER only you know what did you do in the back. (she often accuses me of backstabbing her) •
10:08am ME I did nothing. You have decided that I am a bad person, based on nothing. I never wanted to hurt you, I respect you as my step mother and as my father's wife. You love him and care for him, and he loves and cares for you. I want you both to be happy. Why would I want to hurt you? There is no reason. •
10:10am ME You need to stop being paranoid. I am not out to get you. You tell me that you are lonely, and then you accuse me of doing things that I have not done - you have pushed me away, and I will not be coming back. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I have done nothing wrong. I am hurt by you, but I still care about you. I do love you, and we got along so well for so many years. If I make you unhappy, then let's not talk any more. •
10:12am HER i don't feel any good feeling from you guys.I always think about your family.some people want help I always did. you guys don't svn know about me.When we have problem in the life we never tell your family to help us.who think about us. ok i don't want to talk you anymore. this is the last time.just let you know karma will sort you all out. understand? •
10:16am ME I think about you both a lot. But how can I help with a problem, when I don't know about it? If I am not told about a problem, how am I supposed to know? I know that you have always helped us - even last year, you paid for part of my flights to visit. That was a very nice gesture and I was thankful for that. •
10:17am ME I don't understand where this comes from - I don't hear from you for months, and you suddenly email me to tell me that karma will sort me out? I have done nothing wrong, and feel as though you are lashing out at me because you need to blame somebody for the way you feel, and I am your target. You don't need to be this unhappy. Please speak to your doctor again, they can help you. That is unacceptable, and I will not be treated this way.

I waited a few minutes, and after getting no further response, I blocked her. Her phone number was already blocked on my phone, so there's no way for her to contact me now. My father texts me in advance when he is going to call me, so if she gets hold of his phone, I won't be answering any random calls.

Now, in anticipation of the questions:

Yes, my father does know about this shit. I sent him copies of the messages she was sending me, plus he was there when she called me at 1am on speakerphone to scream at me for not hugging her (see below).

It has been going on since March, when she called me to abuse me about not giving her a hug when I left their house in January. I can't even remember if I did or not.

Until yesterday, I was the only one copping this shit. But, after I blocked her, she called my sister's house and gave my sister's fiance an ear bending. He called me after to debrief, and I could hear the house phone ringing off the hook. He ended up unplugging the phone.

Why didn't I block her on Facebook before? I didn't think I needed to. She had blocked me and I figured she clearly thinks I am the devil, so why would she contact me again? Oh, because she is nuts.

Why am I still being relatively diplomatic? Because she's crazy. It's not her fault that she's crazy. What has tipped me at this point is that she clearly isn't getting any help. That falls back on her and my father's shoulders. I don't need to cop this shit from her - I wouldn't take it from my own mother, why should I accept it from her? I feel as though I have put up with enough already. I have my own problems, I don't need a fucking bitch handing me more shit.

And the big question: Have any of us kids actually ever done anything against her, or posted anything on Facebook about her (like she constantly accuses)? Not that I am aware of. Nothing on Facebook, that's for sure. I can't say for my siblings whether they have done anything against her, but we all liked her (I loved her) and were pleased that she and Dad were so happy together. I have tried, and tried and been as pleasant and nice and understanding with her as I possibly can be. I've known her over ten years, and we have gotten on extremely well in all that time... Until this year. Nothing changed in our relationship at all, but she got progressively nuttier over the months, and not just about us kids. She's absolutely crazy about everything. She has told me a story about 10 times of being in a shopping centre car park and she stopped her car to let someone else go by, and the person stuck their finger up at her. Her blood boils over that, no matter how many times we tell her it doesn't matter, there are assholes everywhere, who gives a shit.

So... what now? I have always felt strange about kicking a person out of my life. Sure, there are plenty that I'd rather never hear from again, but it's another thing entirely to do everything that you can to make sure that someone can never find you, or you them. I had one person that I had done that too, but it was for my own protection because they hurt me badly. And even if I saw her on the street, I'd probably smile and wave, then keep on walking. I just don't want reminders of her, if you can understand that. With my step-mother, I am just done. And I don't feel bad about it. I don't care what happens to her from here, I only care about my father. If he is happy with her, then I am happy for him.

Maybe I have just gotten old enough to realise that I don't have to put up with assholes in my life. I am always super polite and nice to people, even when they're annoying the fuck out of me, or treating me like shit. I don't have to be. If I don't want to put up with bullshit from a family member, then I don't fucking have to. This realisation is very liberating, and now I understand where M is coming from when he decides not to be in contact with his family.

It's something to think about, anyway.