april 27, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
- July 27, 2014, 4:52 p.m.
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'Sorry I had to break that entry into 4, but it screws up when I try and copy & paste something from online, so. and then once I've done that it won't let me type more, so.
Anyway.
I had another 'E' earlier today, between 7:30 and 8. I was in the tub. It wasn't as bad as the one this morning. *Schizoaffect Talk Following - there was the circus. and the paper. and everything was trying to eat me. i didn't recognise my hands as mine. and I got out and thought 'maybe if i eat the paper it'll go away' - Schiz. Talk Ended.
oh.yeah. In both my kitchen and bathroom I have this striped wallpaper. gold and green blue and red. Which I thought was the weirdest thing when I moved in [which was 3 yrs ago next month]. it reminded me of a circus esp. in the bathroom. um....... it still kinda does but over time I'd grown used to it.
And I'm sure that doesn't help. But I don't want - ok not so much don't want to as won't - change it bc then I'd have to tell my parents why and. ya know what? that's not something I'm going to detail.
so yeah. that happened.
It's like some horrible dream that you want to wake up from but can't. [this is starting to sound like i'm more depressed than usual. well *that's part of it so I wouldn't be all that surprised]. Just that.........that feeling. Ya know? where it doesn't feel good.
This morning when it happened the bear that James gave me made his way into my head. I don't want to farther detail that.
So I haven't been sleeping well, which.obviously doesn't help matters. W/ the exception of within the last few hrs. I slept from 8 - like. 9;34 or something. when James phoned me. And today I slept untill 3something p.m. earlier. [well obviously earlier]. I want to know why I slept 2x in one day but I don't want anyone to tell me.
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