on a roll in 2014

11:06am

First: I am totally on a roll with this writing thing this year. Of course about 93.7% of the entries involve one particular topic, but who can blame me? There ain't much else going on in my life. I have to seek entertainment wherever I can find. Plus I know that underneath all the surface talk there is a lot of growing going on. I am doing things I've never had the guts to do. I mean, dude! I just invited a boy over to my house. Willingly volunteered for that kind of social interaction instead of having to be dragged out the front door by extreme guilt and obligation. That's huge in and of itself!

You know it's coming down to the end of the season when every thing is falling apart. The chairs are squeaky like crazy [and I've neglected to bring the wd40 to the office...]. Apparently my coffee cup has decided it no longer wants to feed me coffee either. I have been using it more than usual this year. That doesn't give it the right to not help me make it through the last 10 days though! Thank God I don't actually rely on coffee to make it, but still I would like to have it available when I'm thirsty. Darn thing! Guess I'll have to go find an actual 'coffee cup' to pour it into.

See what I talk about when I try to come up with something new? haha. This is why I stick to the same old thing.

I fell asleep texting CK last night. I haven't fallen asleep in the middle of a text conversation in probably ever. I had sent a response around 10:45p and then woke up at almost 11:30 when my phone buzzed. I quickly read through it and then fell back to sleep. It was a long list of all the music he's into. He'd said something about drinking and listening to music. When I'd asked what kind I expected an answer like, "country" or "rock." Not exactly an entire list of every genre he could possibly come up with. There were some pretty good genre's though. And I have a feeling he slipped in "a little bit of indie" because that's probably all he's ever heard me listen to. haha.

Plus he said that the only thing he didn't listen to was rap [bonus points!] or stuff like that because there was too much "moral decay." His words, not mine. But I can't say I haven't had the exact same thought. Still, what 20-something says things like that!? I think I said this last night, but I swear he's a lot older than he claims. Pretty sure he's slightly offended every time I say he's "young", but I can't help it. Those are my own insecurities talking, I know.

When I mentioned something about how he was still young and could travel all over the place, not having to worry about having a stable job and all that [because he has to move and he's looking into seasonal jobs] he said he certainly didn't feel that way. I didn't know what to say after that. I have this feeling like he's ready to settle down in life. You don't hear that very often these days.

I guess he's a lot more like me than I thought he was. I mean not in the 'wanting to settle down' kind of way because I'm actively avoiding that, but in a lot of other ways. I can't remember the last time I met a 20-something who was so 'conservative'. Like he's probably more so than I am. And he thinks about the world in many of the same ways that I do. Actually I feel like a total open-minded, up for anything, liberal around that guy. haha. I'm not even really talking politics either. Just life in general. Which I guess isn't horrible, just completely different for me to be around someone like that. I'm usually in that position in regards to my attitude and the way I view the world. So like I kinda don't know what to do.

Not to mention the fact that he's so hard to read. The hang out last night took some of the mystery away, but I still can't figure him out. [Maybe because of the shy/unsure of how to act situation he's got going on...]

I sent him a text saying that I knew we'd be great friends after his comment on rap music. hmmm....did I just stick him in the friend zone? =\ Does he even care that I stuck him there? Just trying to make things clear and the "friend zone" thing doesn't bother me at all so I don't know. I'd be happy to be in that zone for a long time, but that's probably my fear of commitment talking. heh. He gave a very short response. That's ok. I think he'd probably still make a great road trip partner. I want to take him with me and let him drive. Although the 55/mph thing puts me off to the idea. That's one of those things that I doubt will ever happen, but I think would be super fun. He'd be willing to sleep in the back of his truck, make food, and stop along the way. Everything on the cheap. That would be so perfect. The exact way I want to travel, but I don't have the motivation to do it on my own.

Better stop dreaming though. I'm wrapping up too many exciting things into something that doesn't exist. I'll never ask him to come with me. Or...I shouldn't say "never". I was a lot more bold yesterday than I ever imagined I would be. So who knows.

What I do know is that I totally gave him the opening. I made the first move and he has everything he needs to continue it, if he so chooses. That's me letting it play itself out, by the way. hah.

I will admit that my favorite part was the one where I walked him out [I'm afraid he would have gotten lost if I hadn't. haha] and we stood in the dark chatting about life/work/cars/him wanting to write a book/etc. It was nice and quiet and I could have stood there for hours. The funny thing was that my neighbor's dad was out [I haven't met him, so I'm only guessing it's him] and we could hear them talking, as I'm assuming they could hear us. He was rolling the trash cans out to the curb and I could see him staring in our direction trying to figure out who we were. They probably don't hear guys' voices coming from our end very often. haha! There was just something peaceful about the whole moment. I don't know. That's silly, but it makes sense to me.

Gonna stop talking about it now. I'll try to turn it down to like 89% of my entries from now on. ["try" being the key word there] ;-)

rose.
3:31pm

Last updated July 27, 2014