oct. 11, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done
- July 27, 2014, 12:13 a.m.
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- Public
'Ok so wow. I apparently fuked up.
So I'm sure everyone remembers how angry I was w/ James. For what he said.
Yeah apparently I'm wrong. As a friend very recently pointed out. Like I don't want my power taken away or my right to be angry about the sex abuse. taken.away. Ya know cause that's a big thing for me. But at the same time. um........ sry i'm sleep-deprived, so. if this doesn't make any sense that's why. there was a point there but it got lost.
No and it's not that I'm not still anrgy about the rpe. cause I am. I'm just so misguided in all of that that I don't see clearly nor what's right in front of me. I get so caught up and passionate and sporadic that I don't listen. I get so invested in how I'm feeling. that I don't listen. No actually I'm terrible at that. unless someone's got an issue they need to talk over and yeah then I'll listen.
And people don't want to listen. I know I certainly don't. And it's really hard to admit that if you don't then you won't grow. Ya know, no one wants to admit we're wrong about the big things. We as people - and you're allowed to respectfully disagree - want others to agree w/ us. We want things to be one-sided. We want someone to be like 'oh yeah no you're totally right they're the ones who are in the wrong. And I will stand by you and argue that point'. And sometimes they are. but sometimes they aren't.
And passion isn't entirely a bad thing. You just have to realise where your emotions should be placed. Unfortunately for me it's not untill someone points it out that I'm like oh. oh wow I really effed up. Which is starting to bother me. As is the fact that it keeps on happening.
And it's not that I shouldn't be angry about the rpe. cause I should. it's just, again, realising where that all should lie.
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