Let's bond in 2014

4:52pm

I want to sit and gab about all things that I shouldn't talk about, so I won't. But I really want to. hah. This doesn't make sense. I'll probably be the only one to read it though. And I know exactly what I'm talking about. All the silly thoughts and rambles that are constantly going through my head on a daily basis these days.

sigh

There's a lot of stuff going on in this small town of mine. Scandals and what not. Some guy came in today and somewhere near the end of his appointment he turned to look straight at me and asked what I thought about the political situation in town. I was honest when I told him I mostly try to avoid it all. But we ended up getting into a long discussion about what's going on and what people are saying. We had a lot of the same viewpoints. Things are getting too "emotional", people aren't asking the right questions, and no one is giving answers to the situation.

I decided that these are the kinds of political conversations I can totally have. See, the other day, in a very brief conversation, CK and I talked politics. I mean it couldn't have even been five minutes worth and I could tell he was starting to boil. The whole thing was dropped and I tried to laugh it off. We could probably carry on this conversation at a different time, in a different place and everything would be fine. I'd try to give my opinion and listen to his. [I'm learning this lesson slowly - being able to talk about things calmly. Mostly I poke people on purpose and I should stop]

Anyways, this was like a nice healthy unemotional kind of conversation. Part of that is probably because we had a lot of similar points, but also because we were talking facts and figures. He said he was going to go to the city council meeting tonight and I kept telling him to stand up and make his points. He talked a lot about it, but it seemed like he wanted someone to push him into going up there.
Apparently he's been involved in some form of politics before [possibly even being a warden at some prison]. Someone should be saying something. I'm not informed enough, or willing to put enough effort into it right now, to be able to stand up and speak my mind.

I've always considered politics. Like someone needs to get up there and make a real difference. Without all the BS. But I doubt anyone will vote for me if I'm honest, and kind, and don't sling mud everywhere. hah.

So apparently today is going to be busy. yikes. I didn't expect things to pick up again until like next week. It's good though I'm not prepared to stay here late all of a sudden. I think I'm going to be running like zombie-status for the next few weeks. I'm not ready for 12+ hour days, 7 days a week. And I don't exactly have time to prepare for it all either. Like not even a minute to convince my brain it's all going to be alright and I won't explode at the end of it all. Ready, set, go! I guess........

In funny "the world makes me laugh" moments: I've been having all these thoughts about CK and I hope he never disappears and whatever have you. Then out of the blue today the winemaker calls me to ask about some paperwork he'd done. I ended up having to call him back [mostly so I could think of what to say and drag out the conversation. hehe] a little while later. I didn't have the info he needed but I told him I could give him an 800 number to call or he could wait around. He decided to wait around and see what happens in a couple of weeks. If there's nothing, he's just going to call me again and see what's new.

He has this interesting way of talking on the phone. Almost like he was trying to rush me off of it [he could have been busy; at work or something] and I have this bad habit of dragging things out. I mean I want to say what I want to say so just let me! Like I had jokes to tell. You know, so he could hear my witty sense of humor! obviously!

But anyways, things like these always seem to happen to me. I'll be thinking about someone and they show up. I'm all into a certain thing and the world thinks it's funny to send a distraction. It's some big joke or something. I literally walked to the back room and chuckled to myself about how he'd call me out of nowhere like that.

At the same time I sorta just want to yell out that someone should just "ask me out already!" I don't know. I'm mostly against this whole dating thing. I've got a million excuses. Too busy and too independent. Too much of a chicken. Etc. But I'm in this weird space right now where I kind of want to go out and spend time with someone. It's crazy, I know! I'm not sure I've ever felt this way. Mostly I try to avoid it all. I think if anyone even remotely attractive [because this is in fact important -- BUT I believe everyone is attractive to someone] walked in and asked me out on a date I would say yes. Why not? Let's go grab a drink. I could use one of those. Let's bond over a meal. I'm always hungry!

Ok, in reality, there are probably only two people I can think of off the top of my head I would actually say "yes" to, but still. Never would I have thought to say these things out loud. Something weird must be going on. I am so not the "dating" type. Like not even remotely close.

New stage in life? Perhaps all my mother's prodding [and shoving] have started to cause my inner self to panic and feel lonely. hah. Not that there's anything wrong with any of this. I am human after all.

rose.
7:19pm

Last updated July 24, 2014