The days sure do fly by. I started writing this on Wednesday. It’s now Friday. Here’s what I wrote and then I’ll continue:
Wednesday, July 16th
Another day, another day. We all get older.
My mom had eye surgery yesterday and so she and my dad came to [my city], which is an hour and a half from where they live. Surgery went well, but man, they are getting older and older. I love them, and I can see them turning into little old people right before my very eyes. It made me just a little misty thinking about things like how I so want my dad to walk me down the aisle and other things. Feels like it’s slipping right out of my fingers…
I know. It sounds like I just made it all about ME and my sucky love life, but that’s not really what I meant. I just want to have those moments with my parents, you know? Moments I just assumed would happen. Giving them grandkids is out of the question, but marriage isn’t…yet. And I’m still so lucky to have them around, but for how long? Looking at them age makes me think about that more and more.
Regardless, the surgery went well with my mom and she wanted me to deliver pizza! So I did, and we had a little dinner party in their tiny “comfort suite”. Mom was in a little pain, and she was on codeine and just slightly out of it. Dad was sweet and talkative.
Of course, the elephant in the room was my status with SP, and finally one of them (can’t remember if it was mom or dad) broke the ice and I said that yes, we are “hanging out”, but not as a couple, of course. Mom wanted to know if I was open to seeing other people and I said yes, but that I just wasn’t that into it yet.
I don’t know guys. I don’t feel it at all. I am feeling pretty alone lately. I don’t feel so sad as much as I feel numb and just exhausted.
Friday, July 18th
Today is SP’s 51st Birthday. I’m taking him to dinner because I want to. We talked about it and he also wants to invite his Original BFF (the older one, not the new crazy one) and wife, so I asked them to join us. I love them, so it’s not an intrusion. In fact, I miss them and their friendship a lot. I think it will be really nice.
We’ll see. What’s new? This week I’ve discovered something very unacceptable on me: POOCH BELLY. It’s embarrassing to note that this has happened almost without me noticing because I am down to a decent weight, so I was thinking that all was OK, but I happened to be walking past this windowed building the other day, and my full body profile was shocking to me. I looked 4 months pregnant!
I don’t know if it’s age, and I haven’t had a completely flat stomach in a couple of years, but this seems extreme. I tried to suck it in and I can’t get it to go all the way flat, even with sucking! UGH.
What to do about this?? I did a little online research and it appears that salt is probably the culprit. That, and I’m not drinking enough water.
Oh, and I think I’m not working out correctly. This is why I think I’m in need of an extra incentive or help.
I’ve been doing lots and lots…and LOTS of walking lately. Mainly, it’s to get my Nike+ fuelpoints (see: Nike+ fuel band ), but I recently found out that I’m not walking fast enough to really get a great workout.
But I love walking. It’s my exercise of choice. I think it’s because it helps with my mental processing, it’s relaxing, I see things while I’m walking. Maybe the solution is a mixture of walking and running?
Regardless, I don’t think it’s gonna solve my pooch-belly problem.
I do T25 in the mornings (and I’ve been slacking on that too, since my China trip – argh!). I do Boot Camp on Saturday mornings. I need something extra!
Researching…
Speaking or researching pooches, the search for the French Bulldog continues. I’ve been to animal rescue shelters, online sites, petfinders, etc. I just can’t seem to find what I’m looking for that’s less than $5000 (for a mini Frenchie), and even then, I’m finding mixed reviews for the breeder I’m watching. It’s gotten really confusing, and I’m just about to just go down and pick a puppy at the SPCA...but the problem is that I’m an apartment dweller and need a small dog that’s good with small spaces. I don’t want a large animal that wouldn’t be happy at my place. With these mixes, you never know how big they will get and…oh, I’m just so confused.
It’s just that it’s a perfect time to find my little furry roomie. I work in a place that’s suited for bringing pets to the office, and if I wait too long… I’m also researching new opportunities. On Wednesday next week I’m meeting with a former Big Boss from my last company. My last company had done a huge restructure back in October, I think it was, and she got laid off. She’s now starting a new project, and it sounds really cool! I actually got her in touch with a woman who accepted a position to work with her. Anyway, I want to pick her brain about what she’s doing and how I might get myself headed back in a direction I want to move. I’m looking forward to this!
OK. I better get going. I’m at the office and I need to get some (many, many!) Friday things done.
Happy Weekend! Love you! GS
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