10/6/03 [Friends Only Entry] Monday, October 06, 2003
Wow. This diary site has changed a lot. I like it. It's very "micro-soft wordish." How lovely.
So lots has happened since I last wrote. I had a cousin die in a car accident. No one knows exactly what happened. Some think he lost control. Some say he was drunk. Some say he was upset. Some even say he commited suicide. All I know is he has passed away and it was horribly unexpected. His younger brother had to be sedated twice to calm him down. He was one of my favorite cousins. I used to baby sit him often when he was younger. He almost felt like one of my own children. I cried a lot when he died.
Keith went 36 days with out calling me or coming over. It was enough time to let go of him. It's like a weight was lifted off of me. I no longer feel the need for him to call or come over. I feel so much happier inside. It's like I laugh so much more. Sometimes I find myself laughing and I don't know why I am. I just start laughing and it's not forced. It's real time happiness. He no longer controls my head. When I smile I feel the smile. I feel the smile deep down inside all the way out of my body through laughter. Yes. I am that happy again.
I have my holiday second job. This year it's Toys R Us. ...more to come.. I have a visitor....
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