Back to Square One in These Foolish Things
- April 15, 2023, 9:36 a.m.
- |
- Public
Well, fuck.
I told you I thought I was getting a little bit of a handle on work? Yeah, well. Scratch that. Yesterday the most talented person on the product development team quit. I’ve now been asked to be a part of managing that team and covering for the hole in staff.
The PD person quit because Chief Cutie is a horror! I know this for two reasons:
1) Chief Cutie herself told me that the PD person said they felt completely disrespected and can’t do it anymore. So now, not only has the amazing PD person quit without another job lined up, but they are the second person to do this in the last couple of weeks (quit without anything lined up - another person does have another job lined up, but that’s still 3 people in a staff of 22). And…
2) Chief Cutie IS hands-down the most difficult person I’ve ever met!
The other thing that Chief Cutie confided in me last night after she told me that her expectation of me is to essentially take over all of design and product development is that she is pregnant, which I think is one of the reasons why she’s been a raving bitch one minute and a sweet, agreeable human the next for the last few days.
And just when I thought I was making some headway, I NOW HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING - - again.
The really sad thing is that in an effort to reduce my anxiety about my own job is that I have taken to the support of my Valium and a half glass of wine before work on a couple of days this week. This is NOT something that I’m proud of, but this is my diary and where I’m going to offload this stuff.
And this will NOT be my life going forward.
I’m going to do what I can do. But I’m NOT going to kill myself for this.
I do know that Chief Cutie won’t fire me at this point. She can’t. I mean, she can, of course, but it would be a stupid move on her part, so I can stop worrying so much about my performance.
All I can do is throw myself in there while I’m there, but not to the detriment of my mental or physical health (good luck) and do what I can do - and if that’s not enough, then fine. I’ll figure something else out.
God, this fucking sucks. I mean, it seems like all of my peers my age are actually retiring and here I am freaking out about my work like it’s the first fucking job of my career!
Ugh.
I’d SO rather be telling you about my men trouble. Ya know? In fact, I miss telling you about men trouble!!
Better go. It’s a beautiful day out there and I’m missing it.
GS
Amelie's Twin ⋅ April 15, 2023
If she is still planning on selling the company, especially if it's a sinking ship losing money ... Would you consider buying it?
Ginger Snap Amelie's Twin ⋅ April 15, 2023
No. It is not my dream to own a company.
Amelie's Twin Ginger Snap ⋅ April 17, 2023
I'm with you. It's a lot of stress and responsibility that I most definitely do not want to have.
WhatDreamsMayCome ⋅ April 15, 2023
Uuuugh...
I'd rather hear about your men troubles!
;-)
I hope for the best for you.
Complicated Disaster ⋅ April 15, 2023
Transmit only people really are the most difficult! I need to find a link that she should probably see! xx
CharminglyNeurotic ⋅ April 15, 2023
This is toxic. I'd be straightforward with her at this point and start looking for another job. If she fires you so be it. It's not healthy and as someone who has suffered with her health, it's way more important than a job.
bobbi01 ⋅ April 15, 2023
I'm so sorry. We all had such high hopes for this move. The only respite I can see is A/ you jump ship or B/ cc tKes a long maternity break.
Cathy ⋅ April 15, 2023
Wow, that's a lot! 😓
colder ⋅ April 15, 2023
Man. I went through something similar once! It was wild.
I think you’re playing it right. They need you, your influence is very high right now, and because of your skill and your importance you have Chief’s ear. And it sounds like you are pretty bulletproof there. Some people won’t listen until they HAVE to. Maybe Chief will get there soon and you can fix things and it will benefit you as well.
ninakir88 ⋅ April 15, 2023
Hugs. I do believe you will have an easier time finding a job and quicker this time around. Not to mention new city and all.
sudare ⋅ April 16, 2023
I used the expression “back to square one” in English last Friday, too. :( It really ruins our energy.
Ginger Snap sudare ⋅ April 16, 2023
Yes! It really does ruin that energy for sure. Setbacks happen. Now I have to figure out how to react.
Deleted user ⋅ April 17, 2023 (edited April 17, 2023)
Edited
Hey, I so don't want to deal with any more corporate people-y crap like this that I am planning on going back to freelancing as soon as I can. Is there a way you can be a free agent/consultant in your line of work? Becuase with age discrimination being a very real thing, and health at this point in our lives, and employers not understanding that people don't live to serve them, I sense it's not going to ever get any easier for people like us. Do you think you would be better off calling your own shots?
pandora ⋅ April 17, 2023
Wow - she sounds like a lot! And like you said, it's not worth your health, physical OR mental, re: the self-meditation mornings. I know it was a big deal to get this job and relocate for it, but it truly sounds awful.