Idiot Me in Me Being Me

I should have learned by now.....Don’t talk to that landlady because she is a bitch and a fuck tard. I went to get apackage yesterday because she called and told me it was here. I told her I will be there as soon as I finish my coffee and she said whatever. I don’t understand why waste the time and phone call and just bring it to me and put it on my table outside. I would be doing that if her mail came to me, but I am like that. Considerate. And her dog is still not trained it still barks at evryone I can hear it barking in my bathroom with the door closed. I see no reason for a dog to be barking unless it’s in danger or thinks it’s in danger. Everydog i know and I know a lot of them and none of them bark like this dog. And I don’t think she is really going to train this dog to do much.
I knew a little dog that could go get a particular toy to play with when I told it what one to get and it did. And it could do more then the basics. And it never barked at anything.
So I said to the landlady because she told hubby that she was going to either fix the fench or remove it. I have no issues with that. But when I asked her if she is going to letme know when she will be doing that she told me there will be no notice. Even if by law she doesn’t have to tell me i think it would be kind and curtious if she did tell me then I will know from the noise she will be making. So if I hear her and she doesn’t tell me i will be taking my sharpoest knife and thereating her with it and also I will be sitting outside and smoking in her face and in the area she is at. And if she doesn’t like it too bad. And I hope she doesn’t bring that idiot dog because I have told her more then onece that dogs like hers shed and I have an allergy to them so thus the reason for be the same as her…A BITCH.
And maybe if I get mad enough I will be calling her and abusive boyfriend and an abuser and a uncaring slumlord and that she is just too dam old to be renting out places.
You know I do understand that there are things she doesn’t want to do or can’t afford to fix but the least she can do is goive me the option of me fixing it myself so it gets done. But she won’t even do that. And also yesterday she told me if I continue about her govong me notice when she is going to pretend to fix the femce she will eveict me. Actually what she said is “I don’t have to have you living here” I just ignored that and never said anything to her.
And I have started to make myself feel s lot warmer and since the oven has been on when I wake up I am in a much better mood. But I am still fucking cold when I wake up.

Onto something else…

Yesterday the power went out and hubby decided that we are going to go do some shopping and then go to Boston Pizza for dinner and then the power should be back on. So we went and got some not really needed groceries and went to eat. Hubby had a small pizza and I had my Fettuccine Alfredo and then we went home and the power was on.
When the power first went out I had thought the landlady turned it off but then I realized I have the circut breakers down here so then I called hydro and asked what it was and they said something to do with the line and the crews were on their way to check it out and fix it. So we were gone about 5 hours and the lights were back on. Oh and the good thing is I didn’t have to cook. But tonight for dinner we will be having the Turkey drumsticks we were going to have yesterday.

Onto something else…

I have made a revelation and I also have figured out how to just get along. I have been trying but then when I ask the landlady the first thing she says is “NO” and it doesn’t matter the reason. And even before she says no I try to tell her what her not fixing things is doing to me. I look around here and all I see is things that need to be fixed or replaced. And for the most part it’s just the small things like the seal around the counters or the air vents being cleaned out or pipes not being exposed. The pipes being exposed needs a cover over then and the best materials to use is the same plastic that is used for fixing water pipes that the sink uses. But the landlkady is too stupid to figure that out and if I tell her she will just say it’s too much money and she can’t afford it.
And she has gotten me to the point that I don’t know how much time I have left living here because she will eevict me and it will be for no good rrason and then I will be in worse shape and more depressed. And I think she is the major reason why I am so depressed and have gained all my weight plus more back and I am getting to the point where I just don’t care. And I think hubby is getting worried about me because I don’t want to go anywhere or even for a walk like I use to. And the landlady tells me I need to get dressed so i will feel better about myself. She is probally right but the clothes I have right now that do fit make me look even fatter and my underwear is getting too small, but it’s still wearable. And I refuse to buy any clothes that are bigger. But I am getting to the point that I will loose all this weight and start to actually like myself.
So I need to stop talking to the landlady and just pretend to listen to her and do what I want and what makes me feel happy.

Onto something else…

I am thinking that today I will light my candle and watch it burn and smell the scent. That will help me to be calm and safe. I also like to watch the wax melt. I know I am weird.

It’s that time where I need to stop here…
Do have a great day....
Be Kind, Be calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated April 11, 2023