Wrote an entry yesterday that just made me want to gag, so it’s private.
Over the last couple of weekends, I’ve had amazing, amazing times. First, it was a lost weekend in a town close by – fancy dinners, bucket list-worthy music shows, making friends at poolside bars, fabulous brunches. Then, 4th of July weekend was filled with a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous vibe: stayed in a gorgeous guest house at a mansion on the Gulf of Mexico…boating, insanely fun people, hot-tubbing, fireworks, ultra fresh seafood, non-stop party.
Both times I never wanted the weekend to end. Both times I extended the weekend allllll the way to Monday morning when I had to return to work. And reality. And a bit of melancholy.
Both weekends were spent with SP. UGGHHHH. And now, radio silence from him for the most part.
I need to come up with a plan. I’m usually pretty good with plans when I write them down. This plan should be all about me, me, ME and what I want for my future. It should be ALL about me. Sure, I’m going to leave a spaceholder for someone special in my life, but that spaceholder will be blank until someone who’s worthy of filling that space is found. Or not.
And to be completely open here, that doesn’t mean that I won’t spend some time in the future with SP, but the writing is clearly on the wall and you guys called it: he wanted to come back into my life to prove to himself that he’s not a horrible person and an unworthy dick. I get it. And I don’t think that he’s a dick, per se. I just know that there are two hurdles that we can’t overcome and they are deal breakers. Doesn’t mean we can’t hang – we have so much fun together. But what I think it means is that we can never be a couple again. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about that yet…I’m still processing.
And now, we come to another weekend. This time I have NO plans, NO weekend party, NO seaside, NO concert, NO boat, NO fancy dinners… not yet anyway.
And I’m feeling really good about that right now. I can’t wait to relax and re-organize!
Oh! Friday afternoon update: I just casually asked around to see if anyone in the office wanted to go to Happy Hour and 6 people want to go. Surprising what can happen when you just ask…right? Guess my resting and organization will have to wait until later in the weekend.
Loading comments...