Panhandling: The Moral Dilemma in Daydreaming on the Porch
- March 16, 2023, 11:49 p.m.
- |
- Public
My whole life I’ve been aware of the homeless among us. I remember like it was yesterday driving with my parents in downtown New Orleans and going down Camp Street, which was the city’s Skid Row at the time.
I was about 11 or 12 and I remember looking out the window in wide-eyed fascination at the broken bottles and litter on the sidewalks, the abandoned buildings, but most of all, the people lined up at the Ozanam Inn, the one and only homeless shelter run by a Catholic order, I forget which one. This was before the days when drug addiction usually meant alcoholism, and later, heroin, cocaine, meth, and now opioids and fentanyl. The hapless men lying on the sidewalks were all, it was presumed, alcoholics down on their luck, “bums” as people called them. I wondered how people and places like this could exist in my tidy, childlike middle class suburban universe.
My world was a place where respectable houses and neat lawns and front yards lined the streets, overhung with shady oak trees. On Camp Street I felt like I was looking out on an alien world, a place I couldn’t comprehend and thus feared.
The memories of that street have stayed with me over the decades, but as I moved on in my life and careers, I lived and worked in smaller towns and cities and didn’t notice the problems that festered in bigger cities. Even in Columbia in the 1970s, I wasn’t too aware of it, even though there was a large shelter downtown.
When I was in junior high and high school more than 50 years ago, I’d go shopping on New Orleans’ famed, wide and teeming main thoroughfare, Canal Street. It was a fascinating time and place to wander the streets of a big city, and on Canal Street there were huge department stores and dime stores, air-conditioned and icy cool. What a relief to step into one of those stores on a sweltering Saturday afternoon in semi-tropical New Orleans. But often, I would spot outside the store, and in other locations along the street, men with missing legs in wheelchairs holding tin cans in hopes of getting passerby to drop in a few coins. I was aghast at this sight and hurried along my way.
I’ve lived in Charleston 25 years now, and there are a lot of homeless in this city, drawn here for many of the same reasons they came to New Orleans. When I was a kid, it didn’t occur to me that the homeless might be residents of the city. Maybe I thought they were all modern-day hoboes who still hopped freight trains and cross-crossed the country, restless, aimless wanderers who were supposed to possess the ultimate freedom — nothing to tie them down. Perhaps in the 1930s that was one way to survive the Great Depression. But the reality today is far different.
Homelessness is an outgrowth of lack of treatment for the mentally ill, including many homeless veterans, out-of-control substance abuse, a nationwide shortage of affordable housing, and the terrible misfortunes that strike people of all classes of society at all stages of life. To me, homelessness exposes the rot at the core of an unequal and unjust society where money rules and greed corrupts.
Over the years I’ve often been approached by panhandlers asking for “a couple of dollars for bus fare.” No more “Can you spare some change?” Inflation, you know? I mostly assumed these individuals, men as well as women, were homeless and hungry or desperate. Why on earth would anyone ask for money from strangers? Or were they shrewd con artists hustling up to a hundred dollars on a good day? Who’s to know? So I mostly just passed by, mumbling “sorry” or something equally lame.
Sometimes I’ll listen to their stories for a few seconds or minutes then quickly make my exit from a scenario that always troubles my conscience. Yes, they’re most likely going to use whatever I give them for beer, wine or worse, but again, how am I to know? They’re probably really hungry. But in my mind, I always say to myself that I’ve contributed to the local homeless shelter and food bank for many years, so why don’t they just go there instead of bothering me and shaking the wobbly foundations of my house built on sand of excuses and rationalizations.
So I always come out of these encounters feeling a bit ashamed, slightly soiled by the gritty realities of life that I mostly manage to elude and keep compartmentalized. But if I’m the Christian I profess to be, but who often fails mightily at living up to the core values and tenets of his religion, can I ever justify not helping someone in need, even if they’re only using the small sum of money you’re giving them for alcohol or drugs?
In Matthew 25:40 are these words, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ “ I’ve come to the conclusion now that if someone asks me for money I’m going to give them something. Not a card that gives them the address of the homeless shelter.
Our local newspaper carried a big article and editorial a few years ago citing the admonition of police and city officials for people not to give money to panhandlers because of many of the reasons I cited above.. Back then when I first read it I said, “Okay, that’s the answer to this terrible moral dilemma. Now I have an excuse and a rationale, a reason not to give in to the unkempt and wild-eyed mendicants who approach me. I can’t escape from the problem, but I don’t have to support their drug habits. End of story.
Once in the parking lot of the post office a man made a beeline for me, requesting a couple of dollars. Hesitating only for a moment, I pulled out my wallet and gave him a dollar. “Thanks,” he said, and went on his way.
For once I didn’t feel guilty or embarrassed for myself or the person asking for the money. It would have been easier to just say, “sorry” and forget about it. But it’s never been easy for me to do that. I always had to struggle with my conscience. Not anymore, if I can help it.
But that was a few years ago. Today I think it’s fair to say most people don’t carry change and a goodly portion, if not most, never have cash in their wallets. So what are they going to give the mendicant begging alms? I doubt many of them take credit cards, but you can probably find a few who do.
I recall coming out of “Dollar Tree” and spotting a man soliciting money for homeless veterans. That particular store apparently allows solicitation. I didn’t see the man, and he didn’t ask me for anything, but I overheard a young man tell his companion, “I buy lunch for a bum at least twice a week.” I had to laugh because I’ve never done anything like that. I thought they’d just get belligerent if I offered to buy them some food.
We all have our own way of dealing with this. I’m not going to judge anyone, but I recall many years ago seeing a man unhesitatingly deposit some money in the hand of a beggar. I remember thinking, “Wow, that person has a heart. I should be more like him.”
As they say, “There but for the grace of God go I.”
Last updated March 17, 2023
Jinn ⋅ March 17, 2023
I don’t usually carry cash so I am not a good prospect for panhandlers . I will stop and tell them where they can get resources ; like food, shelter , help applying for jobs, and clothing. I make sure I know those things. It used to be part of my old job. Usually they already know and believe me they know how the system works : unless they are new in town. We have a huge population of homeless here because the city is very tolerant of them.
Never pull your wallet out in front of a panhandler. It’s tempting them to do something bad. If you think you might encounter some ; put a couple dollars in your pocket ahead of time. They usually haunt the same places. I always ask them their name if I get the chance and why they are in those circumstances. It makes them more human.
I do get annoyed with them at our library. The city has allowed them to take it over and it’s like a homeless station. It was a gorgeous huge building filled with art , flowers , and nice furniture . It was immaculate and the grounds had fountains and nice landscaping. Now it smells, it’s dirty, trash litters the outside and instead of fountains there are porta- potties to encourage them not to pee and poop on the sidewalks. They still do and vomit of course . I quit going after going to the library every week for 30 plus years. It grossed me out. When I wrote a letter to the administrator and complained I got a snarky reply saying the library is for everyone . He said they do not get enough money from the city to maintain it and pay for security so they opted for private security guards ( who you rarely see) . There are frequent fights there and episodes where the mentally ill flip out or the addicted pass out. They sit in the chairs and pee themselves and wreck the bathrooms. They are not allowed to sleep in the library but they will grab a chair and sit all day and evening, especially in cold weather. In the summer they sit outside on the benches and pass out on the sidewalks. It’s disgusting and the city allows it because our shelters are very small and can not take many . If you are drunk or high you can not get into a shelter. Sometimes when the weather is cold the police let them sleep on the floor in the police station. 🤦♀️
Oswego Jinn ⋅ March 18, 2023
I can relate to the library situation and its seeming demise and deterioration. It’s a tragic situation because with residential mental health facilities, as well as drug and alcohol rehab and detox facilities so few and expensive, the homeless wander listless and drug addicted, slowly dying, as I witnessed at our downtown public library for years.
Libraries have always been safe havens for the homeless. But their plight is worse now and library staff are not trained to be social workers and counselors. They can provide information about resources but mostly the homeless spend all day sleeping or using the Ibternet computers, and/or exhibiting the disgusting behaviors you enumerated, though who’s really to blame for this?
Jinn Oswego ⋅ March 18, 2023
I am not sure who is to blame. The financial system that constantly rewards the rich and keeps the poor , poor? The homeless themselves ? Because they are mentally ill or addicted or have a record so they are unemployable? The government that does not fund enough assistance for affordable medical care, higher education or social programs ? Ignorance and apathy that encourages women to have children they either do not want or don’t have any support systems for ? The reasons go on and on.
The petty side of me says that even if you are dirt poor , you don’t have to behave in a disgusting manner and or not try to improve yourself every chance you can create. Then again I have been fortunate not to be in that position so I should not judge . I head very poor in my young years when I was going to nurses training and college after I got divorced, but I always seemed to have friends that helped me and jobs I could count on. Somehow I never ended up homeless for which I am very grateful.
music & dogs & wine ⋅ March 17, 2023
Homelessness is a HUGE problem where I live. This is an old article, it is from when they cleaned out the "tent city" on the river. My last job was right next to there and it was mind blowing to see how many people had set up there, it was like San Francisco Tenderloin District or Skid Row in LA! (BTW the last few times I went to LA, its literally like skid row EVERYWHERE. It's no longer confined to that area, the entire city is covered in tents. It's awful.) People use the riverbed to bike/run and it got to the point where nobody could go over there for their own safety, not even being afraid of the people, but there were needles and feces all over the place. I AM glad they moved them out.
https://www.ocregister.com/2018/01/22/the-santa-ana-riverbed-homeless-encampments-are-being-cleared-out-heres-a-timeline-of-how-we-got-to-this-point/
But it didn't get any better. Instead of them congregating along the river, they have just moved everywhere else, spread out all over the city. I live in the "nice" part of town and even here we have homeless people now in some areas.
Where I work, there is one man who has lived under the bridge the entire time I have worked there (4 years). He lives out of his little blue hatchback, he clearly has schizophrenia (or something like that), every day I see him standing on the sidewalk, talking to the sky, exercising, or doing weird gestures/dances. He doesn't hurt anybody. He somehow washes his clothes and I see them hanging to dry on the fence under the bridge. When his trunk is open, I see the car is full to the brim with garbage. I feel bad for him. I've seen the mailman bring him food. I have thought of doing it too, but since I have never interacted with him, i'm kind of scared, to be honest. I have thought of bringing him my husband's clothes that he intends on donating, or bringing him a meal from somewhere on the holiday weekends.
Also under that bridge, we have a drug dealer in a Range Rover who shows up every few weeks. Then the RV's come. Sometimes my little street will have 10 - 15 RV's parked there, people come out and walk their dogs (I honestly feel worse for the dogs than the people) and they just score drugs and live in their gross rundown RV's until the cops come and kick them out.
The police told the owner of my company to call whenever the RV's show up, they'll tell them to move along. They said the guy in the blue car isn't breaking any laws, so he can stay. I am glad they let him stay. I don't think he is a drug user, I think he just needs to have mental health treatment.
We have called the police multiple times when we see the drug dealer and they come, but he takes off and they don't follow up at all. He keeps coming back.
Another note to add, is that on the same small street my office is on, they built a Veteran's apartment complex with super low rent to help them out, and I think that is awesome!!
https://abc7.com/abc7-salutes-veteran-veterans-housing/6322805/
Lastly, I will not give money to these people. I won't even give money to my brother who has struggled with addiction. Instead I choose to send groceries or food delivery to his apartment when he is in need. We all need to eat! But I will NOT give him money. I do not trust addicts, or even the panhandlers.
I will never forget a story my dad told me about when he was working in LA in the 80's, how a homeless man outside a McDonalds was begging him for money. My dad decided to buy him a meal instead. He gave it to him, and the man said "I don't want this shit" and threw it across the parking lot!
I am sure some of them do use the money for a good reason, but we can't know what they are using it for. I just won't give money, ever.
Oswego music & dogs & wine ⋅ March 18, 2023
Wow, you depict some harrowing scenes of homelessness and its terrible consequences as people flock to large cities like LA, Seattle and Portland. It’s gotten so much worse in the past couple of decades. Certain places are magnets for the down-and-out who congregate together and form their own cities within cities. This never used to happen before.
I think the best way to help is to give to the local food bank and homeless shelter as I have been doing for many years. I’ve actually given money to people who asked me for it only a very few times, mostly because I’ve usually said I was sorry and then continued on. Plus, I’m hardly ever downtown so I don’t encounter homeless people.
But in not giving money I have to realize that these persons are people are tragically unfortunate human beings who have wasted away due to mental illness or extreme misfortune, debts, ill health, family problems and a host of other reasons. We can assign blames everywhere but that’s not going to solve the problem.
I’m not going to rule out giving someone money because I almost always have at least a little cash on me. I always will. But as I say, the vast majority of what I do to help is co lntribute to nonprofits who help the homeless and addicted.
ConnieK ⋅ March 17, 2023
Direct them to homeless services rather than give $ which WILL be used to feed their addiction. While it may not be your business how he spends the money, but in reality, you help to fuel the addiction storm, unfortunately. I learned the hard way. Now I'm empathetic but tell them no, without explanation. JMO
Oswego ConnieK ⋅ March 17, 2023
I can be pretty sure most of the panhandlers, especially the ones who stand at busy intersections are quite familiar with the homeless services here, through the grapevine and word of mouth. They don’t want to stay in those facilities because of the rules, but will come for the meals.
I think this is true all over the country. If it’s 25 degrees they might turn to an emergency shelter. These individuals have, throughout history, from earliest civilizations through Jesus’ times until ours, lived on the fringes of society.
I guess you could say history changes things as human societies become both more advanced and depraved, in the modern sense of being capable of so much more misery and destruction. Also, the lightning fast killer drugs like fentanyl will kill many homeless drug addicts much more quickly than alcohol or heroin.
So it’s a lethally dangerous time to be homeless, and if I’m confronted, I will try to give something, if I have any cash on me at the time, and I usually do. And no, my little infrequent action is not fueling “the addiction storm” because it’s already worse than it’s ever and will only get worse, no matter how much affordable housing we provide, which is next to nothing.
There are unlimited numbers of criminals who will supply the fentanyl pills that look like Percocet because they have no consciences and and are totally depraved and likely to end up dead themselves from fentanyl. Money and greed rule in that subterranean world. And both the purveyors and victims will always be with us.
ConnieK Oswego ⋅ March 17, 2023
The homeless were once housed. Reagan got rid of the mental institutions, halfway homes, rehabs, etc. in the 1980s. You can brush off an infrequent action as doing little harm and I FULLY understand your viewpoint as I once felt the same. But then my son became addicted to opioids and I saw firsthand how handing over cash only paid for more drugs to put in his system. You were obviously offended by my reference to what fuels the addiction storm, but if you reread I think you'll see that I wasn't singling you out. We all want to help.
Oswego ConnieK ⋅ March 18, 2023
I remember now your son becoming addicted to opioids, and I can understand your present views on not ever giving money when it very likely will go to buy more drugs and perpetuate addiction. There are many other ways to help, as I indicated in my essay.
I am so sorry about your son’s drug problems. How is he now? Did he get off the opioids? The fentanyl infestation is truly frightening and seems to be everywhere with people are desperately trying desperately to get what they think are opioids, but instead are ending up with fentanyl. It’s truly a plague on our country now.
ConnieK Oswego ⋅ March 18, 2023
My son did get his addiction under control. He died of Graves Disease when he was 30. We don't know if his former drug use triggered it or if he was always destined to die early. It will be 8 years next month. It doesn't get easier. I, too, tried to help with money, figuring if I paid off his debts he'd be less likely to stress and use. Instead, after paying out more than $20K, he ran it right back up. EVERY dollar goes to drugs when they're addicted.
Also, some panhandlers here freely admitted to the newspaper reported that he makes $300 a day so he sees no reason to get a job. Another woman, after a day of panhandling, drove off in an expensive car.
Oswego ConnieK ⋅ March 18, 2023
How devastating a loss! Your son is mercifully free of all that now.
It’s staggering to realize how how addiction can suck up everything in a person’s life. Such a tragic affliction that is now so much more deadly with fentanyl than when your son was alive.
Kristi1971 ⋅ March 17, 2023
Every now and again there will be a homeless person hanging around the local McDonalds. I will buy a meal. I've never had anyone anything less than greatly appreciative.
Of course, I can provide all the information on where to receive services, but those services are down in the city. I prefer to take care of an immediate need as well as provide information if they want it.
Oswego Kristi1971 ⋅ March 18, 2023
That is a thoughtful, generous and sensible way to help the less fortunate. Thank you for sharing this!
Deleted user ⋅ March 18, 2023 (edited March 18, 2023)
Edited
It's wrong to lump everyone together and say they are all out for drugs and alcohol. Granted, I know there are some who are but who am I to make a judgment call of those who do and those who don't. We just don't know. There are many homeless who cannot afford the rent for the outlandish cost. I live in a mobile home. There are seniors living in mobile homes and in order to make it they have to decide if they are going to buy medicine or pay their rent. If they can't pay their rent and they have no family or friends you might find them in shelters or on the street asking for money so they can have something to eat. I never thought I would see the day when seniors were homeless but it can happen. I think buying the homeless food is an alternative option to giving money but handing them a card to a shelter may not be because maybe they've tried but they can only stay there for so long or they don't have the transportation to get to the shelter. For these reasons, I don't fault you for giving money. One Christmas, there was a homeless person in front of the grocery store. I gave him $50.00. What he did with the money I don't know but I know I did the right thing. It was Christmas. So many hustling in and out of the grocery store with the fixings for their Christmas dinner and many presents under the tree. That was my situation. I felt so blessed! I gladly gave the man $50.00 and it made me feel good inside. It's a tough call to make on what to do and I don't find fault with however any blessed person chooses to handle it. Again, who am I to judge how the homeless person will use the money I am giving them and at the same time who am I to judge how the blessed person will handle the situation. It's not my call to make. Follow your heart Oswego. You are a caring man. I will never find fault with others who give money. And if someone has no extra money to give, or they don’t think it’s right to give money, maybe they can do as suggested by p. Smile at the homeless person. Look at them so they will feel human instead of less than.
Oswego Deleted user ⋅ March 18, 2023
So many wise and perceptive points here, WildRose! I admit people who I see giving money to the homeless because, like you, I have no idea what they will do with it, and that’s not for me to determine. I’ve often thought when I give some money I should ask them to please buy food with it, But I never do because almost never nowadays am I approached by a homeless and/or mentally ill person asking for money. I believe that continuing to contribute all during each year to the local homeless shelter and food bank is the best way to help people.
It’s also true today, as in the past, that there’s a high probability that whatever money we give will be used to buy alcohol or drugs. But if I decide to give money, at that point I am not going to agonize over a “mistake” I just made on giving them money. I guess this is something I’ll always struggle with because I certainly don’t want to contribute to prolonging the person’s addictions. I’ve always thought their condition was so terrible and depressing, going back as far as when I was a child growing up in the big city of New Orleans, where on almost literally every downtown street in the 60s there was the tragic site of someone struggling to merely exist, alcohol and drugs only momentarily blotting out the misery of their existences. It’s all a hugely complex societal problem that isn’t going away.
Oswego ⋅ March 21, 2023
Good comments and insights pertaining to this complex issue. I think you did the right thing in both instances because you wanted to help, and they seemed legitimately to need help. With societal injustices the way they are, it’s easy to see how people resort to such desperate measures.
I have come to the point now where I can interpret Jesus’ admonition to “give to the least of these” as supporting food banks and homeless shelters, which I have done for a long time. I always have at least a little bit of cash on me, so in the rare instance when I am asked for money, I will make it a plan to have a few dollars in a small plastic bag to carry with me whenever I go out shopping.