barbara in nch_inpatient_692015

big martin takes me aside
man, why are you even in
this place!? you don’t belong

here! however, during group
he has already persuaded me to
tell my story, so i just smile

and shrug big martin
laughs places his hand
on my shoulder, if

your goal is to get the hell
out of here, then I can help
you. don’t get stuck in the

pattern some of the others
are in… he is unable to
complete this thought

because barbara has arrived
and this is
her conversation now

the only thing barbara
seems absolutely sure of
is patrick kane

she dons the jersey with
the defiant confidence of
a mother proclaiming

herself her child’s number
one fan–it is june and earlier
she and i had discussed

the blackhawks’ prospects of
making it to the stanley
cup finals again–

some thoughts are considered
intrusive, but they already
exist somewhere in the subconscious

i am in a world where being a blackhawks
fan is somehow a personality trait! and how
can you be so sure they will go all the

way again? she is confident, nonetheless–
and now she wants to discuss the details
of her discharge on friday with

big martin who addresses her concern
with professional apprehension
it is tuesday and friday is too far

into the future to acknowledge tonight
he advises barbara to keep working
the program and the program will

work for her
this seems to
assuage her anxiety

barbara smiles at me and
pats my shoulder –she is
crying– don’t worry

handsome you’ll be having
this conversation soon enough
i cover her hand with mine

good luck to you, barbara i
grab another pack of peanut-
butter crackers before the orderly

wheels the snacks away for the
night, and I leave barbara
and big martin to it

Last updated March 07, 2023